itsahotone: (plotplotplot)
Santana Lopez ([personal profile] itsahotone) wrote in [community profile] entrancelogs2012-05-24 08:57 pm

She thought he wasn't interested--until he said he would have to sex-ray her entire body!

Who: Santana, and anyone else your little heart desires.
Where: Everywherrrrre, muhahaha!
When: ...Thursday, I guess. It can go on as long as you want, baby.
Rating: R/nc17 for language. Don't blame ME, blame the magazine.
Summary: Santana's bored, so she's leaving Cosmo magazines around for everyone to find. Check out the sex tips!
The Story:

Look, a girl needs to find her own entertainment around here.

Don't ask how she got the idea, but since it was a brilliant and amazing one, she's just gonna go with it.

Post-event is always boring, so she's just gonna liven it up! That's all. It's helpful.

So she spends some time getting a bunch of issues of Cosmopolitan from the closet, then she spends way more time than needed going through them. She highlights and circles and even draws some arrows to the best parts, things that say stuff like:

Try this kinky trick: Color your nipples with a crazy-colored lipstick, like sparkly purple. Bonus points if it's yummy. He'll love the shocking, sexy change in scenery!

"I dated this guy who tasted really funky down there, but I didn't want to confront him about it. So I told him I was going to suck on a strong mint while going downtown to give him a tingly sensation... which he loved."

Wrap a belt around each of his thighs. This will push more blood into his penis, making his erection feel even harder.

Give yourself goose bumps by sweeping a new, clean toothbrush over the curves of your neck and collarbone.

This featherlight touch will have you both tingling: While still kneeling between his legs, dab flavored lube on your nipples. Then cup one of your breasts in your hand, and slide the top of your nipple from the bottom of his testicles to the tip of his shaft, circling the head and then sliding it back down.

Look at him as you run your chin from his chest to his crotch.

Put lube on your nipples, then trace circles on his bare back.

Flutter your eyelashes against his boys for a sweet little tease.

Have him squeeze lube onto his penis, then swirl your body over his shaft to spread it.

Keep a glass of ice water on the bedstand, and once you've both climaxed, take a drink, holding and swirling the cool liquid in your mouth before swallowing. Then immediately envelop his balls with your lips, one at a time.


...And etc etc.

Once that's all done, she goes around the mansion, all floors, indoors and out, and places the magazines in random areas. Some are open, some aren't. It's like an easter egg hunt, only hopefully with a lot more confusion and chaos!


[if you wish to actually speak to Santana, just make it clear in your tags, otherwise she's not around once your darlings find this magical and 100% correct advice.]
masukukunai: (what is this I don't even)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
Yousuke's pause after Buck asks that should be evidence enough.
brainkegger: ((Buck) Well I dunno)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
Staring some more.

"Oh."

Buck decides he is okay with this.

"My, uh. My son's gay." That's probably the easiest way to explain that, yeah. "Well, he ain't outta the closet or nothin' but, y'know. He's really gay."
masukukunai: (lost the plot)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
Yousuke's never actually had this conversation with anyone before. He's trying to find a way to explain this too.

"I, uh," was he in the closet? What exactly did this metaphorical closet entail? "I like girls. I just have a... a boyfriend, right now."

Is that right? He has no idea.
brainkegger: ((Buck) I wouldn't know what to say about)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
Buck squints. Part of his brain totally doesn't get that, and the other part is fully aware of the fact that he never went to Vietnam and the business he has downstairs is, in fact, a vagina. So in a weird way, he's gone both ways too. Right?

The thought almost makes him want to transition to avoid thinkin' about it. He manages to hang on, though, but just barely.

"Yeah, well, there ain't not shame in that. Just. Be true to yourself or whatever the fuck."
masukukunai: (the humor in being genuine)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
"...You know, that works for me too."

That feels a lot better than he thought it would. It's not so hard! He manages a twitchy smile and points towards the kitchen.

"Want a sandwich?"
brainkegger: ((Buck) Hmph)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
"Sure, why not."

While the Kurt kid is probably more like Marshall than this guy is, Buck finds himself missing his "son" and maybe spending some time with him will make that feeling go the fuck away. Even if he's kind of funny lookin' and shy or whatever.

"Name's Buck, by the way."
masukukunai: (somehow charming)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
That's the pot calling the kettle black, right there. Yousuke is still very confused as to what's going on here, but what the hell, he/she seems harmless enough. If the mansion's taught him anything in the past year it's not to question things if you don't have to. Makes things easier on the brain.

"Hey. I'm Yousuke."
brainkegger: ((Buck) Wat the wat)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
Buck grunts, and soon they're in the kitchen. As they go about making their food, he glances sideways at Yousuke and asks, "If you're into girls, why're boobs so traumatizing?"
masukukunai: (trashcan'd)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
ghdfgjldfshgdfsf

"Just in public!" he sputters mid-mayo spread, "can't look at stuff like that with people around... Especially all this 'sex advice'! It's all just weird shit! Who in the world actually does stuff like that?"
brainkegger: ((Buck) Well alright alright)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
"Well, wouldn't you like to say you tried it once?" Grin. "But yeah, I guess that's normal. Wouldn't want you whippin' it out in the middle of the hallway, anyhow."
masukukunai: (god it's hot-- what are you reading)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
"No, totally not. I think keeping it in your pants is a good rule. People should follow it."

Yousuke grimaces. He hopes there isn't anyone in the mansion that off their rocker right now.
brainkegger: ((Buck) Well alright alright)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
Buck snorts. "Yeah, we can probably all live in peace as long as junk doesn't go floppin' out."

He's got a pretty decent-looking sandwich now. Time to chow down.
masukukunai: (na na na neeer)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
Yousuke agrees, it is time to eat. He feels like Buck is the kind of guy that doesn't care about seeing a mouth full of food, so he keeps talking anyways.

"What's up with you then, huh? How long've you been here?"
brainkegger: ((Buck) Fuckin' boring)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
"Not too long. But long enough to get that I ain't goin' anywhere." Shrug. "I'll live, I guess. Can't say this place is the worst I've seen. Wish it wasn't so faggy, though."

Faggy, swanky, whatever.
masukukunai: (who he tries to be)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
"You mean like ritzy?" Yousuke chews thoughtfully, "yeah, that gets old pretty fast. You, uh. You look like a outdoorsy kind of guy, so is that your thing?"
brainkegger: ((Buck) Well I dunno)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah. I've gone fishin' and huntin' a bit but it ain't the same, here." Not that Buck can say exactly what about it is different. Maybe the sense that the animals aren't real. Or the fear that they might start talkin'.
masukukunai: (always happens like that)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
"S'tough when there's only the ocean, and the forest is haunted," which he just found out recently, much to his chagrin, "Not much to explore. I've been in every nook and cranny of the inside guts of the mansion too. It all starts to look the same the farther you go in."
brainkegger: ((Buck) What's that again?)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
"Haunted?" Buck scoffs a little. "You sure about that?"
masukukunai: (please bury me with it)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah. My friend went in too far once, and it trapped him," he says, looking like he's lost his appetite for a moment, "He only got back because he died and the mansion revived him here."
brainkegger: ((Buck) Smokin')

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
Buck frowns. "That's-- that's fucked up on so many levels."

Buck drums his fingers for a moment, contemplative. "Does he know what it's haunted by?"
masukukunai: (my paper heart)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-26 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
"No. It's probably just more mansion magic crap."
brainkegger: ((Buck) This is some grade A bullshit)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-26 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
"Man, fuck this mansion. Fuck it hard with a rusty chainsaw."
masukukunai: (god it's hot-- what are you reading)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-27 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
Yousuke's face twists when he thinks about actually being fucked with a rusty chainsaw, but what the hell. He was right.

"I can totally agree with that."
brainkegger: ((Buck) Hmph)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-27 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
"So." Munchmunch. "What kinda place're you from?"
masukukunai: (music notes over the head)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-27 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
"Japan. Not like Tokyo or anything... I live in the sticks. Rice paddies."

But he says it with fondness.

"I'm guessing you're American?"

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