Physics is just a seven-letter word...

[lowkeyangel]

Who: Loki Gabriel, and you.
Where: Anywhere.
When: 31st - 2nd
Rating: A little language. Rated S for Silly?
Summary: Gabriel decides to test out the logistics of cartoon physics, with... mixed results. We can plot here, or feel free to just jump in. He's only likely to 'kill' douchebags.
The Story:

Being a trickster for so long had meant that, on the whole, there wasn't a whole lot that Gabriel experimented with, anymore. When the next big things came out, he pranked with them and then moved on (unless, of course, they were excessively hilarious). This was just the way of the big human creative machine. But, of course, when you can make physics your bitch, experiments get a whole lot more interesting than test tubes and lab coats. Gabriel was itchy to do something. He had a feeling that it was set on by the damn house, but it didn't matter. He was bored anyway.

And so, armed with a list of silly cartoon things he wanted to try out in real life, he set off to stalk various parts of the mansion and the grounds, and see what he could see.

Comments

[donttestme]

Well, never worry, because Chell's curiosity is piqued here.

She cautiously approaches the tomatoes, and watches them, trying to see how they're talking, where's the voice coming from...

And then, she tests something else: She takes the breadknife, grabs a tomato, and starts cutting it.

[lowkeyangel]

All of them have little slits in the bottom for mouths, not that that really makes any sense. They gasp as one when Chell grabs one of their number, and the 'victim' under her knife starts to scream and bleed... ketchup. Everywhere. The others cry variations on oh the tomanity, using leaves from their severed vines to cover their eyes.

well this is a post I never thought I'd write

[donttestme]

Chell hears their heartbreaking cries and doesn't really react to them more than focusing her unfeeling gaze at the poor, cut-up tomato. She wipes some of the 'blood' that splashed on her face - ketchup? Not the normal juices of a tomato? Interesting...

Anyway, Question: could talking tomatoes feel pain
Procedure: Cut talking tomato with knife
Result: Tomato cried in pain; others expressed fear and distress
Conclusion: Yes, they can feel pain.

Chell tilts her head curiously, turning the injured tomato in her hand. If they could speak, could they move? If they could move, could they solve tests...?

... She puts the tomato down and looks at the others. The knife, dripping with ketchup, is still in her hands.

"Run," she says. Will they?

never say never

[lowkeyangel]

Gabriel arches his invisible eyebrows as he watches this turn of events. Cold, man. That was cold. Of course, that was the whole of the mansion, today. Tomatoes lacking legs is never a problem in cartoons, and they begin to scoot away down the counter with panicked and pathetic little cries for help. Won't somebody think of the poor, poor little tomatoes?

does threatening tomatoes make chell a dbag? These aren't cherry tomatoes right?

[donttestme]

So they could run. Interesting.

Now, was this something Wonderland just did sometimes? Or was it a result of the event dormouse had predicted? And... What else could they do?

Chell hadn't quite figured out how to see if this was strictly Wonderland's doing, but in the meantime...

She looks at the loaf of bread she'd been cutting, and then points the knife at it, and nods at the running tomatoes.

Better get running, bread - time to lose some calories!

[lowkeyangel]

Like the crumbless loaf that it is, the bread just sits and, if it's possible, looks cranky. In fact, it might just grow two arms to cross over its loafy chest and pout with. Gabriel sits there, wishing he had a bag of popcorn to watch this with. He's curious if she's going to turn the knife onto everything or not.

[donttestme]

Chell raises her eyebrows. Limbs?

... do they taste like bread, too?

Anyway Gabriel, yes, she is going to turn the knife on everything. If it's not going to run, it's going to get the knife, and it had plenty of opportunity to witness what happened with the tomatoes. Clearly it's natural selection in action.

She takes the loaf and starts cutting a slice off of it.

[lowkeyangel]

Man, this lady. He'll give her props for tenacity. The bread has no mouth to scream with, even though logically it should be as equipped as the tomatoes (logically — Gabriel has no time for real logic). It wriggles underneath Chell's knife, but can't seem to get away. While it definitely tastes like bread, it tastes like that odd cartoonish bread that everything in the kitchen, oddly enough, tastes like. At least until Wonderland gets a migraine from Gabriel messing with it this much and boots all of it out.

[donttestme]

Man, if you only knew.

It wriggles, but doesn't make any sound. Which is interesting, the differing levels of animation in the food here.

She cuts two slices off of the bread, and a wedge for a taste-test. Still with a strange texture and slightly different flavour. Hmm.

Chell continues her, uh, 'experiment'/culinary sin/vegetable murder by getting the Mansion to provide a head of lettuce. Would that be animated as well?

[lowkeyangel]

A head of lettuce has a giant mouth to complain with. And complain it does, starting the second that Chell retrieves it. "Young lady, you must stop this murder spree immediately! Have you no shame?"