entrancelogs | just look at the state of you, babe.

Entry tags:

just look at the state of you, babe.

Who: Caitlin Snow + Dorian Pavus; Caitlin + friends; Caitlin + YOU!
Where: Gardens, Library, Kitchen, Dining Room, Tea Room, etc
When: June 13 and beyond
Rating: PG-13; just to be safe, there may be intense imagery.
Summary: An already broken Caitlin arrives in Wonderland and is saddled with dealing with it and her baggage.
The Story:

june 13; arrival ( closed to dorian pavus )

[ She has to keep running.

It's the singular thought keeping her upright, keeping her awake. She has to warn them, she has to find the friends she has left, before Jay finds her. Caitlin's sure this is a trick; a cruel joke to punish her for warning the police a few nights ago. (Of course, telling her Barry's dead could have been a trick and a punishment too, but it would go against him saying he couldn't hurt her. An almost promise that's now broken because she left.) But even if it's a trick, she has to keep going. She can see the ruined spires of STAR Labs in the distance, even in the dark, and she's so close, so close...

And then the world becomes blindingly bright and markedly less ... urban. ] No.

[ There's hedges and a fountain and flowers everywhere. It isn't right. No, this isn't where she was a moment ago. She turns on the spot, squinting in the bright light, searching for ... something. They didn't miss any breaches. Did Zoom have someone else who could open them? ... no, if he did, he would have come after Barry sooner.

Her breath comes in heaves and pants, bordering on hyperventilating, something more than just being winded. Her clothes are dirty, looking as if she's worn them for a week or more. Her hair is dirty and knotted, her face drawn and streaked with dirt and the trail of dried tears. When her legs start to shake, she gracelessly sits right where she is, flopping down before drawing her legs tight to her chest.

Apologies to whoever finds her. ]

june 13-15

[ This space reserved for cast/canonverse mates. Will fill in once deets are sorted. ]

june 13; post-arrival thread ( closed to iris west )

[ It's a time-honored cliche, that doctors make for the worst patients. It certainly isn't an absolute, and it isn't even really a fair majority that it applies to. But being a cliche didn't make it not true. And for Caitlin, it's incredibly, borderline painfully true.

It isn't that she tries to be difficult. She's had to handle her own share of difficult patients, she knows first-hand how it can fray someone's nerves and rattle a less-secure professional, even how it can sometimes become a distraction. Every difficult patient has an excuse for why they behave the way they do, it's just that hers is real and true.

It's why she's making her way out of the clinic as soon as the initial exam is over. Dehydrated, malnourished, sleep deprived — she doesn't really need someone else to tell her these things. She's acutely aware of them, the dangers they pose. That she should stay and lay down. There isn't time for this. There has to be some way out of here, there just has to be.

As she steps out into the hall, her eyes go wide and she looks like she's been struck. ] Iris?

june 16 and beyond ( open )

[ It takes a few days to coax Caitlin out from beyond the relative safety of familiar faces, their rooms, and hers.

She's struggling, sometimes visibly, with adjusting. There's moments where she feels on the verge of panic and nearly seeks out a secluded space to fall apart and calm herself down in peace. Then there's moments where she's perfectly fine, almost happy (but never quite), where she feels closer to normal. Even then, there's something about her eyes that gives away what's just beneath the surface: they're too wide, they track every movement around her. There's a sheen of fear hiding in them.

It's not all terrible. The library quickly becomes a place to find her regularly. If she has to be away from the safety of friends, then she'll choose the second best option, the safety and familiarity of books. Too much solitude, though, leads to too much thinking, which leads to slipping back into that terrified place. It's touch and go, really.

She also avails herself to the kitchen, sometimes at odd hours of the night. Cooking for herself is such a routine part of her life, so it helps with regaining her footing. Sometimes, she's lazy and opts for the dining room or the tea rooms, though it still feels odd to have food and drinks come out of thin air. (She tries not to think about it.) ]

[ want a specific location not listed? feel free to ask through PM or at

lovedbythesun ]

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[ Caitlin could have sworn she was used to every variety of weird and impossible back in Central City. They've seen it all, haven't they? A man who could turn into poison gas. Doppelgangers. Parallel Earths. Enough metas to lay siege to their home crammed into the lobby of CCPD. A telepathic gorilla.

This? This is a new flavor of odd, and not one she's sure is entirely real. ]

I probably need it, huh?

[ It feels easier this way, poking fun at herself over feeling sorry. Better that she acknowledges it first. ]

Any particular reason you left off with the fourth?

[ iris gives caitlin a sheepish smile. she'd love to give a smart reason for it but — ]

I got tired of wandering around. There's only so many mirrors you can walk past before you start to get dizzy.

[ she gives a small nose wrinkle. ]

It's creepy, right? [ it can't be just her. ]

I haven't seen a whole lot of them yet.

[ Caitlin gestures vaguely towards the front door and the door to the clinic. She hasn't had a chance to really explore much. ]

But yeah, I will take your word on that. Why are there so many?

Keeping in mind all of this is hearsay so far? We're apparently not alone. There's people on the other side of the mirrors. They call it the mirror side. [ which ... she supposes it makes sense, in a wonderlandian kind of sense.

alice did eventually find herself on the other side of a looking glass, didn't she?

they've reached the room that iris had been thinking to settle in for the night. not in a permanent fashion, no. iris is not resigned to this fate ~~yet~~. she opens the door and motions for caitlin to step in first. ]

People? Like... people who have been pulled here? Like us?

[ Slowly, carefully, Caitlin steps inside. She hasn't been in any other room except the clinic before this, and she doesn't quite know what she's expecting. Maybe something like a hotel room? It is a mansion, after all.

A couple steps inside, she leans against the wall next to the door, waiting for Iris. ]

[ caitlin's not wrong. the room is an elegant suite, the kind you'd find at an equally elegant hotel.

iris closes the door behind them. she makes sure all locks and bolts are properly put in place. realistically, these precautions won't keep them very safe, should wonderland choose to exert its magic on them, but iris is full of protective instincts. regardless of their effectiveness, they tend to flare up in certain situations. situations like this one. ] More like ... people who serve the Queen. I don't know yet if they were once like us.

[ it's still wise to remain wary in their presence. ]

[ The sounds of locks clicking into place and bolts sliding home are a comfort right now. And yet, they aren't. Caitlin knows all too well that if something wants to get in, they will. No lock or door will keep them out. Not when they could be stronger or faster. Not when they can phase through objects.

She tries not to think about it. It's a little like trying to not think of pink elephants. The conversation helps, at least. ]

The Queen? Like... "off the their heads" Queen? Or one of the others, the Red or the White.

That's what we need to find out.

[ and oh, trust. iris west is going to find out, one way or another. nothing keeps her from a story. not bullets, not jumping out of windows, not any life-threatening situation, period. her expression turns somewhat somber as she places a hand gently on caitlin's forearm once more. ]

That can come later. For now? You're going to take a shower and we're going to make sure you get some rest.

[ firm iris is firm. ]

[ If she was even at half-steam, Caitlin might have put up more of a resistance, pushed for them to find out now what they were dealing with. But she's dead on her feet, swaying just a little even as she leans up against the wall for balance. ]

A shower. That sounds amazing right now. Heavenly.

[ She tugs at the neck of her shirt self-consciously. ]

What about clothes? Did they say anything about that?

... They did. But it's going to sound just as crazy as everything else I've told you.

[ she takes caitlin's hand and leads her over to the closet. iris opens the doors to it and studies the darkness within. ] Close your eyes and think really hard about what you want to wear. [ enchanted drawers are meant to supply them with what they wish for.

it sounds impossible, doesn't it?

maybe that's why iris needs to believe it. ]

What?

[ Caitlin's gaze shifts from the darkened closet to Iris and back. There's clear confusion and disbelief layered over the exhaustion that pervades every fiber of her being. Think really hard about it? This day just gets more and more bizarre.

Maybe it isn't real. Maybe she's fallen asleep in Barry's lab at CCPD. ] What, we just wish for it?

[ She rubs her forehead before closing her eyes. She thinks about the fresh, clean clothes she wants: the warmth of a new hoodie, the super soft cotton of a gray STAR Labs tee, the crisp denim feel of jeans, the worn comfort of a pair of sneakers. She adds the other necessities as an afterthought, underwear, a bra, and socks.

Without opening her eyes, she raises an eyebrow. ] Well?

[ caitlin's disbelief mirrors her own, but there's no denying that somehow, some way, every single article of clothing that caitlin has pictured in her mind is now draped over iris' arms. science may go over iris' head, but she trusts caitlin, barry, and the others to explain it.

this? this is another beast entirely.

by way of answer: ] I'm liking the hoodie. [ there's a small, almost imperceptible smile when her gaze lands on the shirt.

it's fitting. ]

[ When Iris answers, Caitlin's eyes open, flare wide with surprise. ]

What? [ That may become the only word she's capable of saying. It can convey a lot, given variations in tone and pitch. Still, she's going to end up sounding like a broken record of a very obnoxious parrot. ]

No, that can't— it shouldn't be possible. [ Carefully, she picks up the t-shirt. It's exactly as she imagined it, exactly as she remembers it. ] This is incredible.

If we've learned anything in the past year, it's to use the words not possible more carefully. [ her smile is grimaced more than anything else, though there's a touch of wonder in there, as well. iris can't help it. perhaps it's barry's influence, but all things amazing and fantastical can still take her break away. ]

Is there any way science could explain any of this? [ because seriously, she's so stumped. ]

[ Caitlin matches her grimace because the feeling is shared. There's so much that's happened this year that she would have considered not possible. Marrying Ronnie, losing Ronnie. The breaches. Falling in love again. Being betrayed again. She misses when those words sparked her curiosity, when they made her itch to figure out how and why. Maybe they will again. Someday. ]

Matter appearing from thin air? That... [ She hesitates. ] I'm sure there is. Science can explain anything.

[ she hopes caitlin is right.

taking a deep breath, iris is quick to give a nod. ] That can wait. For now, we need to take care of you. [ she motions to the bathroom with a firm, if not gentle, look. scrub, scrub, scrub, caitlin. ]

[ Caitlin knows that look, though she's so rarely on the receiving end of it. There's no sense in arguing, really. She knows Iris is right, and she wants a bath desperately anyway. ]

Right. Bath, then science. [ She pauses a moment. ] Okay, bath, a nap, then science. [ Because she knows she's not getting away without a little sleep. With a nod, she disappears into the bathroom.

c'est fini? ]

[ O U I.

]

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just look at the state of you, babe.

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