entrancelogs | ❝ Do you ever feel like your life and everything in it...❞

Entry tags:

❝ Do you ever feel like your life and everything in it...❞

Who: Kate Fuller & You (Yeah and maybe Richie Gecko okay. This could happen)
Where: Various Locations in Wonderland
When: Early to Mid January.
Rating: PG+ to NSFW.
Summary: Kate settles into Wonderland
The Story: ❝...is just slowly turning upside down, like a ship flipping over in the ocean?❞

ɴ.ʙ I welcome threadjacking from anyone (tagging into ongoing threads to have more than 2 characters in it). That said, if you'd prefer the thread to only be with Kate, just put [closed] in the subject line! Prose or Action is good with me, I'll match whatever I get.

[ Despite her appearance with Richie at the New Years Eve Ball, Kate's presence in the Mansion is not easily noticed as January rolls around. She keeps to her room on the tenth floor, getting out only when the walls feel like their closing in on her. If encountered during the day, you can be fairly certain that Kate will be alone but as the sun goes down, there's every chance you'll find any conversation you might have with her, interrupted by a tall man with glasses who if you think is sizing you up, undoubtedly is. ]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴇʟ

[ The house of God had once been a place where Kate felt welcomed with open arms, a sanctuary that wrapped her in peace and warmth in a way that even her home could not. It was one of the few places where she had the certainty of belonging that so few ever found in life and she'd thought it would always be that for her, no matter where her life took her. Now? She wasn't so sure.

It had been many months since Kate had stepped foot in a Chapel and though Richie had shown her the one here in Wonderland as a way of putting her at ease, she already wondered if it existed to torment her more than comfort her. Kate had never wavered in her beliefs, despite all she'd seen and experienced this last year. She'd held firm to the knowledge that God loved her because as far as she was concerned, God was love but having time to stop and think about every choice she'd made, Kate could feel the weight of every one of those decisions whenever she stepped foot inside the chapel.

While she doesn't spend hours on end here, Kate can still be found in the Chapel at various times throughout the day, usually when there doesn't appear to be anyone else around. Always tucked into one of the pews at the back, as if she weren't sure she should really be here at all. ]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪᴛᴄʜᴇɴ

[ While some people took to the magic of Wonderland; the ease and comfort it afforded those who lived here, Kate found it difficult to trust anything that could be achieved without effort. She'd tried eating in the dining room where most people took their meals but these attempts usually ended with her being more hungry than satisfied and she always ended up retreating to the kitchen where she could fix her own meal.

She was hardly what you'd call a gourmet cook, but Kate had always helped her mother in the kitchen and she'd in many ways taken on the role of caretaker in the time since her mother's death. It wasn't like her father had been in a state to do so and Scott? It was a miracle if Kate could get him to set the table.

Used to cooking for two or more, Kate will be prone to making too much and never one to see food go to waste, anyone who happens into the kitchen while she's here will be offered some of whatever she's making. Those who happen to frequent the kitchen might even realize that she's the one responsible for the plates of food that have handwritten notes beneath them, inviting anyone to take it for themselves. ]

ᴏᴜᴛsɪᴅᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sɴᴏᴡ

[ When you spend your whole life in the small town of Bethel, Texas, a place that despite the bitter cold that came during Winter, had never seen an inch of snow in the time Kate had lived there, the Winter Wonderland that existed beyond the Mansion walls had its own kind of appeal.

Some days, Kate would be content to sit by a window, a cup of hot chocolate warming her hands as she watched the flurries of snow, dance through the air. On days when the weather was mild enough to dare venture out, however, Kate would don multiple layers of clothing and would brave the biting cold just to experience what for her, was more magical than anything she'd seen inside the mansion.]

ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀs ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇ

[ Set something up yourself! Kate will explore the various parts of the Mansion so it won't be inconceivable that you'd come across her almost anywhere. She will also be curious about the mirror side of Wonderland so Mirrors! are more than welcome to tag her as well. Alternatively, if you want to hash an idea out with me, you're welcome to PM her journal or hit me up on plurk:

brooklyn2181]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Richie. [Stronger this time, as now it's Kate's turn to focus him on her.] It's not your fault.

[And she believes that, despite what he's just said, just as she believes he couldn't be blamed for what happened in Mexico and every day since.]

You can regret the choices you made but you can't beat yourself up about them from now until the end of time. [And it's clear she means every word of it, that she's taking his pain, his guilt into her own heart and hurting for him.] He loved you.

[Because of course he did, right? Because he took them in after their Daddy... He loved them, or he never would have gotten involved in whatever Richie was talking about.]

Best way you can show you love him is by doing what I bet he would if he were here now. [The hand not entwined with his, now moves to his chest, her palm lightly covering his heart.] Forgive yourself.

He wanted us to take care of each other. [Him and Seth.] We finished the job for him.

[Taking fault in what happened didn't mean he didn't forgive himself for what happened. He just wishes that people would stop thinking that death, that leaving him, was better than the alternative.

It sucked, and it hurt, even if he knew the reasons why weren't what his first instincts were.

His head dips down, eyes lowering to the hand on his chest, lips parted slightly as he feels his heartbeat thumping steadily against her palm, a reminder that despite dying, he's still alive.

And so is she.

His eyes lift again, something stormy in their depths as he seems to hesitate before he asks her something more important.]

Do you forgive me?

[She can't help but wonder if maybe, that was why they were together again, if that was the awful thing that saw Seth get clean and he and Richie start working through their problems. She might wish it could have been something else, anything else but sometimes you just had to find the good anywhere you could, even in the bad.

She can see the question coming before he opens his mouth and yet she's still a little surprised to hear him say it. She kind of thought that answer should have been obvious by now but she supposed sometimes, suspecting wasn't the same as hearing it.]

Richie, I... [Her gaze dips, her fingers gently rubbing against his chest as she finds a way to put this into words.] I never hated you.

[She knows how crazy that sounds. She knows she has every reason in the world to hate him and his brother. Seth might have fallen apart after they'd left the Twister but she was only alive today because of him and as for Richie?]

If you need to hear me tell you that I forgive you then, I do... But I never blamed you for anything that happened. [Not even for kidnapping her family, certainly not now. She'd been learning firsthand how sometimes, you do awful things when you feel like you have no choice, even more when you're doing it to protect somebody you love.]

[Maybe, someday, if she can so easily forgive him for all of that, if she never blamed him in the first place, maybe he'll earn her forgiveness for the things he hasn't told her.

There are very few things that Richie is afraid of, but in the moment, it's losing the one thing he has right now in the face of his missteps.

The hand cradling her face pulls her gently forward, the other taking her arm as it reaches for his chest to do the same as he lays back against the couch. It's not a rushed movement, or even remotely desperate in nature, he simply tries to guide her to lay her head down against his chest and he leans back against the far arm of the couch, his other arm trailing across her back down to drape over her waist.

It's reminiscent of the position they found themselves in after they woke up from their mishap in the caves, the one that ended all too abruptly in the face of their misunderstandings.]

[Back when they were outside and things were heating up fast, Kate had been struggling with how rushed it all felt, her mind unable to keep up with the physicality of what was happening between them.

This however, it didn't even feel sexual in nature and she doesn't resist his guidance as he lays down, Kate wanting and needing this, perhaps as much as he does.

The only stiffness comes from not putting too much weight on top of him at first, but after several moments, she allows herself to relax completely, Kate's legs nestling either side of one of his as one hand snakes up to rest against the curve of his neck.]

We don't have to almost die to do this. [Echoing his words from before, only this time, Kate agreeing with him fully.]

[His fingers drift through her hair idly as she lays down, as if the action might release her stiffness some, and it seems to work as well as ease his mind that she doesn't actually mind being this close to him.

As she relaxes against him, he rests his lips against her forehead his breath skimming her skin as the corners of his mouth turn up gently.]

Will you get mad if I say 'I told you so'?

[He'd feel the quick fluttering of her heart as he brushes his lips against her forehead, Kate's eyes gently closing as the soft curves of her body, mold against his hard and muscular form.

She rubs her cheek against his chest, her fingers lightly dancing along the curve of his neck as the idle caress of her hair sends a shiver running down her spine that goes right through her and into him.]

Do you really want to find out? [But it's light, teasing, a hint of humor in her quietly spoken words.]

I do tend to live dangerously.

[His smirk is also easily found in his tone, his voice low above her head, his chest vibrating lightly beneath her cheek. Her fingers are soft against his neck, and his head tilts almost unconciously, a silent expression of his desire for her to just...keep doing that.]

I think I'll refrain, though. Just this one time.

[ There's comfort there, not just in his warmth and closeness but the steady thump of his heart against her ear, the now familiar scent that wraps around her.

She doesn't cease in her delicate exploration of his neck; creating patterns with the light brush of her fingers, the gentle scrape of her nails.]

Good choice. [Her shoulders shaking with her barely audible laughter.

The nervous energy that had made her fumble through every moment of intimacy between then, appears to have finally eased and Kate turns her head, pressing her lips to his chest, exhaling a stream of hot air against him through the material of his shirt.]

What's it like? [The question odd without the benefit of context.] To... see into my soul or... whatever it is that, happens when we...

I do make them sometimes.

[It's a slight detour from his usual need to be right all the time, but he's had time to figure out that no, he doesn't always make good decisions. Sometimes he needs a little prod in the right direction.

He glances down at her at the question, searching for her eyes through her thick lashes.]

It's...kind of hard to explain. [He looks back up at the ceiling contemplatively, trying to put together the right words and being mildly frustrated with himself when he can't seem to get them just right.] It's like watching brief snippets from a movie, and I see things the way you see them. Not just with your eyes, but everything else, too. Sometimes I hear what you were thinking in that moment or get a sense of how you were feeling. Sometimes things can be so bright it's like I lived them, and others I only have a passing idea of what I just saw.

[She does peer up at him, looking in his direction rather than looking at him fully, her mind swirling with every emotion she's experienced in recent memory, every event that caused them to bubble up and it's hard not to think about how intimately Richie could know her just from experiencing - even fragments - of what she's has felt.

She's quiet for several long moments, her fingers still creating their network of patterns across his skin as she turns over that information, more questions wanting to pass her lips but Kate weighing how much she really wants to know the answers to them.]

It sounds... [She knows the words that comes to mind but given how they are right now, Kate hesitates briefly before saying it out loud.] Intimate.

[And she can't help but wonder if he knows just how intimate it's felt for her when he's taken her blood.]

Is it ever like a - [Again hesitating.] A sexual thing or is it just... food.

[His eyebrows lift slightly as he glances back down at her, surprised by the question. Maybe he shouldn't have been, all things considered. She'd been worried about the neck thing before when she'd first raised their...arrangement.

He clears his throat slightly as a certain memory comes to mind before he almost violently pushes it away in his mind.

Instead, the hand in her hair drifts gently downward so his fingers can drag gently across her throat where her pulse point gently shudders beneath her skin.]

It can be.

[Kate pulls in a slow, shuddering breath, her heart beating faster as his fingers play along her neck and a sound spills over, a barely audible, gasping moan as the featherlight tease of his touch, sends a little ripple of pleasure across her skin.]

Oh. [Yes, Oh. Not sure what else to say to that. It should hardly have been surprising if she suspected it enough to pose the question but suspicion and knowing...

She' goes silent again, only her staggered breathing and the uneven beat of her heart breaking the peace.]

Because of... the person, or...

It depends on what else is going on.

[He's hyper-aware of the reactions his touch is causing, as his fingers start to mirror the movements she's making against the back of his own neck on hers.]

It doesn't get me off all by itself, if that's what you mean.

[His tone is every so slightly teasing, though it's clear that he's simply telling it like it is.]

It's only like that if I want it to be.

Edited 2017-01-20 06:27 (UTC)

[~~Why did she decide to start asking these questions?!~~

He'd feel her chest still, Kate holding her breath in the seconds it takes her to decipher his meaning, their position and the length of her hair, possibly masking the raise of her eyebrows.]

Right.

[Of course there's the question of whether she really understands him or just, thinks she does but Kate is not about to ask for clarification, under the circumstances.]

I was just... wondering. [Yes. Wondering. These are totally normal questions, right?]

[He watches her for a moment from above, his hand shifting on her neck so that it's his thumb against her pulse, applying just slightly more pressure.]

If I were to do it, right here and right now, what do you think it would be like?

[There's a darker touch to his words, something that goes beyond just asking the question itself, an added depth to how he'll take her answer.]

[Kate holds her breath again, this time to keep the audible reaction to his touch, trapped inside.

She almost asks what kind of stupid question is that because clearly anything they did right now would feel very sexual in nature but... that in many ways, clarifies what he was trying to say to her before.]

It always feels... [She lifts her head a little, almost but not quite meeting his gaze.] ... intense, whenever you do it.

Well, with you, it's not just a food thing.

[He gives a shit about her. Intensely. He thought that was pretty clear.]

So it was never going to just feel like that. [He looks down at her, lips pressing together.] I know it hurts you, though, on your wrist. It would hurt less up here.

[Almost stupidly, Kate opens her mouth to say that it's always been intense, but again she stops, the revelation that comes one that she hadn't been expecting.

It had never just been a food thing with her, it had always been more.]

You can... tell that just from biting me? [Assuming a little too much, that he could feel it in her blood and not the obvious: Her physical response.

She hadn't denied it though, it did hurt on her wrist but she'd always felt like biting her neck would be crossing some line of intimacy... she supposed that had been well and truly crossed after today.]

[No, Kate. When it's just for food he finds some asshole and tears their throat out. Clearly, it's not just about that.

But he'll keep that bit to himself.]

No, I can tell because of simple anatomy. Wrists are full of tendons. The skin is taught. Plus you always make that noise.

[She can't... really argue with his logic because it's solid, but she does lift her head from his chest so that she can meet his gaze, Kate's eyes narrowing for the rest of it.]

What noise? [Because she thinks she's really good at covering it.]

You suck air through your teeth to try and hide it.

[She actually is somewhat decent at it, really. But he's more aware of little things like that than most people.]

But I can tell.

[She looks like the naughty child who's just been caught in the act, a half grimace of a smile touching her lips.

She supposes if anything, she was just grateful to him for not calling her on it before now. She'd been determined to show him that she could take it, and he'd let her, even knowing it was an act.]

I just thought... it might be... [Her lips purse together, eyebrows raising as if asking him not to make her spell it out.]

I think we're past all that, don't you?

[He might be making a wild assumption, but he thinks he knows where she's going with that, considering this line of questioning.]

It's also harder to hide, but I don't think that's gonna be an issue around here. There's all sorts of crazy shit going on already. No one's gonna bat an eye.

[If she'd felt at all lie he was pressuring her in or trying to talk her into something that she wasn't uncomfortable with, Kate would have likely lifted her knee and been off of him before he could curl into a ball.

She knew Richie, though. Well enough these days at least to know how he works. He was laying out the facts, the good, the bad and the ugly and leaving the rest up to her.]

Well, now I do. [She still wasn't sure how she felt about other people seeing it, but she relaxes against him again, her head back on his chest, face tilted towards his own neck so that her warm breath fanned out across his exposed skin.] Would it be easier for you or, better that way?

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