entrancelogs | + Let's go for a dreamwalk! + [OPEN PLOT CATCH-ALL]

We begin in a Shoney's. There are a few other patrons and waitresses and such, and all of them respond when you interact with them as if they're real people. Once you step out of the Shoney's, basically everything goes LSD: Dream Emulator, that one video game where you wander around in a nightmarish, ever-changing landscape.

Every few feet you take, the scenery changes. Every place is a different dimension or planet that Rick has visited, and all the lifeforms and people seem very accurate and realistic. There are inconceivable creatures, spaceships, every possible alien, monsters, really weird plants, and so on and so forth. One second, it's the purge planet. Another second, it's the mega tree dimension. Another, it's the Citadel of Ricks, because you definitely wanted infinite Ricks and Mortys right?

None of the different landscapes seem to have anything to do with Rick, personally. None of them are specific memories, just details about the worlds themselves. However, any time anyone finds a door of any kind, the door will be labeled with something very obvious: for instance, "Rick's Memories of Morty" or "Rick's Memories of Beth" or "Rick's Darkest Secret" and so on. Some of these doors are locked. When you go through a door, one of several things will happen.

You will end up in the the butts dimension, which is exactly what it sounds like, and the door might dissolve behind you.

You will find a staircase that is endless and loops back on itself, M.C. Escher-style.

You will hear a loud beep and a robotic voice saying "Mental intruder detected: annihilation in process" and then promptly explode, which wakes you up instantly.

You will end up in cob world. This is, obviously, the worst place to be. Everything is on a cob. It's horrible. You don't even know.

Basically Rick really hated Inception.

Rick himself is probably wandering around here somewhere so he can laugh and cajole you for being a mental invader.

[... Okay, Fiddleford absolutely did not even purposefully mean to end up here this time!?]

For a guy who hated this place, it sure seems to crop up a lot...

[... Get it, "crop", because corn cobs are often found in crops and--you know what, never mind.]

[Rick appears floating in the sky above him because he can.]

Jesus, of course the, the c-country boy finds the one with all the corn again, and also, the worst possible planet anyone c-OUUUU-uld ever wind up on. Congrats, dipshit.

Believe me, I had no intention of running into you or this place this time.

[it's just our luck that we ended up in the mindscape of one of the few people that annoy us other than Bill??]

I bet you just got l-lonely for Iowa. If you don't want to be here, leave. Y-You might start getting cob-infected, fuck if I know.

Iowa's a northern state...

[But otherwise the southerner looks around him here. That door he used to get here better still be there or else he's going to be even more annoyed...]

Ohhhh, shit, wowww, didn't mean to insult you, oh man, I implied you're from the noooorrrtthhhh.

[The door is still there of course. Although it might not technically be an exit.]

I'm just sayin', if you're gonna insult me, get your facts straight...

[Trying this door now! Where does it lead, if not an exit out of this mindscape?]

Why the fuck would I bother?

[He lets McGucket walk right through the door--straight into the butt dimension. I'm so sorry. Rick reappears in a puff of light, still hovering in the air.]

Hahaha, where you goin', fucker?

...

[What the actual fu--no, forget this, Fiddleford is turning right back around. Cob world is better than this.]

[Rick is cackling like some kind of horrible demon. McGucket turns around and tries to go back to cob world, but he ends up on a normal-looking world instead. The only difference is that the sun has a face and is screaming.]

Wrong door, asshole.

[jesus what kind of horrible universe do you live in rick]

Why is it screaming like that?

[It's a universe where anything is possible!]

I dunno, maybe it just finally realized i-it's on fire.

Wow, that's... rather horrifyin' to consider, honestly.

[Thank God our sun isn't self aware??]

Don't think about the horror aspect, dummy, th-think about how annoying and shitty this is. The point is to annoy you.

[HOW DO YOU KNOW IT ISN'T?]

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mcgucket - 2017-10-01 03:13 (UTC) - Expand

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wriggedywrecked - 2017-10-03 07:41 (UTC) - Expand

[ Morty knows better than to expect any kind of coherency out of this mind dimension thing. The minute he steps outside of the Shoney's, an instinct deep within him says "this is Rick-related and it's gonna be some kind of messed up bullshit."

In a weird way, it's kind of nice to see a lot of the stuff they'd usually be seeing back home. Or, uh. That they used to see a lot of, before Rick went AWOL to the government hand. Wonderland is... weird. Things happen all the time, but it isn't the same. And Morty's still not really feeling that sense of potential long-term-trap, because spending a few months in a pocket dimension here or there is par for the course.

Morty doesn't wanna go peeking around into any "darkest secrets" or anything, because they did Inception way back when and stuff gets messed up really fast the deeper you get. Beside which, this is Rick. It'll either be something stupid or something where there's no possible way to come out on top. He's not seeing a ton of other travel options, though. A little slice of Citadel of Ricks, a little upside-down stair action, a real lack of doors or hallways.

Classic Rick. Clasrick. ]

Rick? [ There's like forty of them in this moment though, huh. ] I-is this gonna be some asshole Wizard of Oz thing, where you turn out to be behind a curtain? You know? Or are you actually not around? I mean, all I'm saying is you're a genius. You probably know how to make "be back later" signs.

[Clasrick. Yes, good.]

[Rick senses there's someone in his mind, and he also immediately senses who it is. He's been kind of highly attuned to this sort of thing for--well, like, for a long time, but also moreso recently. Back home, it's only a matter of time before the bugs start picking his brain.]

[At which point Operation Szechuan kicks into high gear. So he needs to be alert for mental intrusion.]

[It's just Morty, though, so obviously Rick decides to troll him a bit first, by having gravity invert and all the assorted Ricks and Mortys and such just go flying toward the ceiling.]

Jesus Christ!

[ All those Ricks and Mortys, floating in the void. Morty's gut instinct is to be disturbed by this, since being a human with normal priorities is at least sometimes his day job and it's weird to watch like 40 of yourself float off Second Life-style. And also because it's easy to forget in the moment that this is some kind of... simulationy, mind-powery setup. Citadel status: fucked up. Gravity status: fucked. Morty status: ??? (Mission status: sick.)

More importantly, does it mean Rick's screwing with him or is it just coincidence? Maybe both. If there's anyone who could manage both at once, after all. ]

Okay, yeah, great. He can't, can't even have gravity be some regular, normal thing around here. W-what did I expect? [ He's bitching, but it's a little half-assed. His feet are still firmly on the ground, after all. He just winds up sighing and shaking his head. ] What a life.

[ Morty sets a heading for the nearest door that looks within reach, but he's also, like. Doing a side-shuffle so he can keep his front faced towards those poor Citadel fuckers, Mario-versus-Boos style. He's not dealing with it if they start swooping. He's not. ]

[None of them meet gruesome fates, at least, even the ones who end up hitting the distant ceiling and/or any debris between here and there. Several Ricks do narrowly miss getting sucked into some kind of intake valve, complete with whirling fans. Lucky for them, and also for Morty.]

[A familiar green portal appears next to Morty as he heads for the door and Rick steps out, laughing.]

Yeah, yeah, everyone allllready knows you're, you're into mundane normalcy, M-Morty. Did you see the looks on their faces, though? Pr-URRIIIUU-iceless! Oh my god, look at that one Morty.

[He points, and the Morty in question--who appears to have been merged with a bug, Jeff Goldblum-style--is somersaulting through the air and trying to get his dinky little bug wings to work, which only makes him tumble even faster and in interesting new directions.]

Lookit him gooo, hahaha!

[ It's a metaphor for bug Morty's life. But damn if he's not grateful for the lack of like.

Blood rain.

Morty doesn't laugh but he does stare down bug Morty's trajectory for a little bit. ]

You're just missing Oompa Loompas. Am I right? I-it's Willy Wonka and not Wizard of Oz? I guess it doesn't have to be either, but you can't tell me you're not borrowing from something. I thought Lizard Rick would, would just be able to find a wall to stick to, though. What's his deal?

[ He knows better. lbr he doesn't actually know better. Morty gets back to strolling. He's got his sights set on a blank door or two, but stumbles a little when the scene changes from a hard Citdael floor to something... a href="http://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/RAM_FEAT-969x545.jpg">much squishier. ]

Holy crap, Rick, I almost forgot about this one! With your stupid megaseeds. I-it feels like it's been forever.

[ And yet oddly is one of the safest dimensions they've ever been too, what's up. ]

[It's a rare day when Rick doesn't set off something that culminates in blood rain.]

Fuck that, there's already a Willy Wonka Rick and he basically, basically j-just ruined Willy Wonka for literally everyone else with his eternal shittiness. Lizard Rick's based on an iguana, I think, h-he can't stick to walls. Sucks to be him.

[Honestly fuck all these Citadel-associated Ricks, anyway.]

[Rick follows Morty on through.]

Megaseeds are the l-literal opposite of stupid, Morty. But you've got a point, this is almost nostalgic.

[If only he could plunder all these megatrees, just have a permanent supply. Too bad this is just his mind.]

Wh-When the hell did you learn to dreamwalk, anyway? O-Or did Ford blow something up again.

I mean, I sure didn't learn anything lately. I- I think trying to figure out a school situation would just make things worse around here than they are already. I'm not ready to deal with it.

[ It's one thing to go to school at home where it matters and he has to think about the future or having any kind of normalcy in life. Wonderland can suck a duck. If Jessica shows up, then he'll think it over. ]

So, so process of elimination there. There's probably more than just one person it could be, though. Uh, you know, like a lousy wizard or a crappier scientist or something.

Y-You're like the worst kind of after-school special, Morty, I'm proud of you.

[Here's to not learning anything.]

That Fitz guy sure, sure has a habit of wrecking shop but this is more, this is basically Lawnmower Dog 2: Electric Boogaloo but with more lucidity. Which makes me think Ford.

[ Fuck learning, that's the spirit. ]

Man. I wonder how Snuffles is doing. Y-you know, he never writes or anything. Maybe dogs don't need to learn to write in their own dimension.

[ This is an important takeaway, okay. ]

Lemme know if you plan on doing a witch hunt or something? It probably wouldn't be much of a hunt, though. Lemme know if you plan on doing a witch... burning. I'm down to see who's responsible for this for sure.

They probably just haven't figured out inter-universe e-mail yet. Haha, idiots.

[Dogs and computers don't mix, unless we're talking literally.]

Tempting, but this is more annoying th-than actually damaging. People are basically just going to, to wander into each other's minds and see some fucked up shit, but who cares? Not happening to me, and I'm too smart to just let every Tom, Dick and Fuck You wander around my f-fucking brain, anyway. But m-maybe...we can see about teaching Fordsy a lesson somewhere down the line.

...L-Let's just make sure it's actually him, first.

+ Let's go for a dreamwalk! + [OPEN PLOT CATCH-ALL]

Rick | OTA

cob world because why not

holy SHIT

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paps rick on his old gross face

slaps morty right back to test if he cares

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stares in horror at my own html fail even now

i love you in spite of your flaws

thank u...

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