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[truefriendship]

Who: My Little Phonies
Where: All around the mansion
When: 10/19 - 10/21
Rating: THIS IS A CHILDREN'S SHOW
Summary: Starlight Glimmer is making poor life choices. Everyone else gets to suffer now.
The Story:

Maybe you're outside, enjoying the fall weather. Maybe you're in the kitchen, or just wandering the halls. It doesn't matter. As soon as you lay eyes on that purple pony, walking around with a cyan-glowing horn and an insufferably smug look on her face, your world will twist.

Suddenly you're on four hooves, not two feet. You have a mane. Maybe you're lucky enough to have wings, or a horn. You aren't a human now. You're a pony, your special talent emblazoned on your flank to show the world who you are.

But clearly, this is how things have always been, right? Pay no attention to your memories of hands, this is normal now.


[ooc: Feel free to make your own top levels and go wild! See here for ooc plotting. Also here if you want to make a custom pony.]

Comments

[slapfight]

[She thinks about it. Really, really thinks about it.]

Not particularly. The barriers around the edges of Wonderland are still up, we haven't had an event announcement, and there haven't been any strange new arrivals. What would be weird that I, with my amazing observational skills, wouldn't have noticed?

[ssmisery]

[Lapis doesn't answer immediately, instead staring at Peridot a long, grim moment. She's annoyed and baffled, but the initial shock is passing, at least. Besides...

She might not be able to do anything about this. If it's as harmless as it looks so far, that might not even matter; Lapis doesn't actually trust anything here to stay harmless, but it does happen sometimes. Granted, she's a stubborn lady and not yet prepared to give up on arguing Peridot out of ponyhood, but it's a looming possibility. Besides...

To be fair, Peridot is not entirely unlike a small cute animal under normal circumstances. She looks blatantly out of place strolling in among all this stuff designed for humanoids like she owns it. And she gestures with her hooves. And she genuinely thinks everything is fine, with her observational skills and all that!

Lapis closes the door behind her and heaves an exasperated laugh, head in one hand.]

You look ridiculous. [She mutters that half to herself before making her way over.] You're gonna hate this later, you know.

[slapfight]

I do not! [Peridot, lacking the ability to comprehend anything is wrong, is highly put out at this insult from her best friend! ...Even though Lapis is the first to tell her she looks dumb when she does, in fact, look dumb. That's different. There's a shift in what Peridot is doing or wearing or what-have-you when those comments come, and this is just... Weird.

And Lapis is still assuming that shape. It puzzles her immensely, like she's missing something but she can't figure out what, so it must not be important, but it persists regardless.] ....Is this about how Wonderland is extremely biased towards two-legged lifeforms, because I have just been building a 'morp to complain about that.

[ssmisery]

Kinda! [Lapis sasses on pure reflex, because even that much acknowledgement of the situation was more than she expected. Jeez these mental things are weird.

She was too gobsmacked to really take a good look before; up close again she starts to properly take in what she's dealing with, the upturned snoot and the flicky little pointy ears and the leggy sitting posture. Look: she did just say that Peridot looks ridiculous, and that's still true, but even Lapis Lazuli is not powerful enough to deny that this is also adorable. Neither assessment is important right now. Next order of business:]

Can I see your tablet?

[...This is partly because she wants to see how the lack of hands shakes out, but also, honestly, because her own device is all the way across the room and that's what roomies are for.]

[slapfight]

[Peridot at first tries to produce the tablet with her little hoofies, and it... doesn't work out. In fact, it works out horribly. After a few seconds and trying to figure out the best way to handle something without thumbs, she makes an aggravated noise and just floats it over with her metal powers.]

That was stupid. I don't know why I didn't think of that first. I've been so focused on other things today, so I'm a little scattered. Heh.

[Yeah, that's it. And it has nothing to do with the fact that for a terrifying second something that used to come as naturally to her as kindergarten maintenance was difficult.]

[ssmisery]

[Straight-faced, Lapis first holds up a hand demonstratively. She wiggles the fingers. She exaggerates the smooth motion of taking the tablet from the air. Gosh, how effortless. How casually she begins swiping on a touchscreen while bluntly delivering the facts.]

It's because you're remembering wrong. We are two-legged lifeforms, and I always look like this.

[slapfight]

[Those agile fingers... Those thumbs... How could this be??

Peridot shakes her head, because logic isn't having it. She's a gem and this is her shape and why should anything complicate that.]

No, that's... That's impossible. [Her nervous laugh gets more nervous.] In fact, maybe you should come see my latest 'morp! It's proof of my feelings on, erm... How biased Wonderland is towards two-legged lifeforms! Surely no one who is supposed to wander around on two legs could make something with so much passion.

[ssmisery]

[If anyone can overrule fake memories through sheer force of Not Having It, it would certainly be Lapis, but it still doesn't sound that likely, and she's not much of an optimist. Realistically, she's prepared to call it a grudging win if she can make sure Peridot doesn't give her any more crap about the disparity.

She notes the lack of certainty, however, since she IS capable of paying attention. There is a weakness sensed here and she will gladly pursue it without mercy, in these particular circumstances. But how? The tablet doesn't have answers; Lapis lowers it and returns her eyes to pony, displeased but thoughtful.]

There's nothing on the network, but it can't be an event.

[...The tablet isn't helping, no, but what would Peridot get out of it right now either? How thoroughly can she fool herself that she doesn't need hands, whether for meep-morp or for tech? Lapis's finger idly traces circles on the screen (which opens the brightness setting, but nobody's looking).]

What did your limb enhancers look like?

[slapfight]

[Peridot gets a dead fish look in her eyes like Lapis has just poked a hole through her narrative so thoroughly that her brain is now sinking in an ocean of inevitable identity crisis. Stars, does she hate those.]

Um... Well. They, erm... Uh... attached to my hooves and erm... Made me taller.

[But without the finger part (which would look stupid on a pony), it's hard to even imagine what they could look like. She keeps getting stuck on finger screens before going no that's stupid, but what if- no...]

[ssmisery]

[There, see, it's working. Lapis can go back and spare a thought for her best friend's sanity in a moment, right now she's getting somewhere.]

Can you picture that? How your screens worked, or... what else did you have in there, a blaster? -- Or, stars, don't you remember the ship you brought me to Earth in? [because lord, Lapis doesn't understand that aesthetic either] Do you realize why you couldn't open the door just now?

[slapfight]

It was a- [It was a hoof- no was it a hand? It had fingers, didn't it? Peridot's eyes glaze over briefly and she sticks her horsey butt in the air and faceplants onto the floor with her front hooves over her triangular mane, and with a muffled scream of frustration, says:] WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE FINGERS???

[ssmisery]

[Okay, there, now it occurs to Lapis that she may have broken Peridot. Hmm. Maybe she could've been gentler, but "maybe she could've been gentler" was already going to be on her proverbial tombstone way before this.

Well then. First, she sets down the tablet, since trying to hand it back would just be unsporting at this point.

Second, she steps around the Peripony, making a truer and more overt inspection. Why is the star on the butt now?? Even so, the cuteness is only becoming more undeniable as she gets used to seeing this form at all. But Lapis wouldn't want to be stuck in it either.

Third, she sighs ruefully, crouches down and gently places a hand on one of those raised forelegs. It's fuzzy! There's just something about animals that invites that sort of thing.]

I told you you'd hate this. Are you gonna be okay? ...Whatever it is, it'll wear off.

[slapfight]

[Peridot whines and stars it almost sounds like a whinny.] I'll manage. It isn't the first time Wonderland has made a mockery of my intended form and my inability to shapeshift.

[She doesn't peel her forelegs off her head just yet and she's still basically faceplanting as much as possible as if she can smoosh her horse snout down with the crushing weight of her crisis. She sighs in aggravation, the sound muffled by the floor.] Thank you for saving me further embarrassment.

[ssmisery]

[All right, then, have a good time lying face-down on the floor in a pit of existential misery. That's relatable. Lapis stands back up and moves towards the window.]

I'm going to see if I can find anything out. I'll be right back, okay?

[It seems likely Peridot is going to need a moment to process things anyway, and hey, it's not like she can wander off very effectively.]

[slapfight]

[She would have to crawl through her pit of existential dread and disdain for Wonderland. It would be like Artax in the Swamps of Sadness, at this point.

By the time Lapis does come back, Peridot has stopped horse-planking and cosplaying Artax and has started looking for the true advantages of this form without the bias. She's clearly more graceful with four legs! Behold her majestically trotting through the barn.

...By the time Lapis appears again, her "majestic trotting" has led to her tripping over a pile of paint cans in the corner and getting tangled up in her tiny horse limbs. She tried.]

[ssmisery]

[True to her word, Lapis isn't gone overly long. It also really shouldn't come as a surprise that when she gets back she's a pegasus. Like, obviously, that's what would happen.

She has the terrible, unaccustomed feeling that she's forgetting something important. It's practically on the tip of her tongue. (Because it's not like she can't remember what she was literally just arguing with Peridot about, her rockbrain is merely reluctant to examine the details or make any kind of connections.) But then she already knew something weird was going on; that's why she went out to investigate in the first place. Perturbed, she shakes her mane like a wet dog once she's solidly on her hooves, and frowns at the Peri pony pile in the corner.]

Still couldn't figure anything out. I really feel like I'm missing something.

[slapfight]

[Peridot stares at Lapis while currently upside down, stubby legs waving in the air. She promptly rolls over and just gawks at the pegalapis, now uncertain whether the last thirty minutes were even real and she should just accept that this is the truth or try to figure out if the simulation has just gone haywire and this is all Wonderland's grand design to make her crazy.

She slow blinks.

And then yowls like an irritated cat.] REALLY?

[ssmisery]

[Lapegasis doesn't know where this reaction is coming from, but she's already annoyed and unsettled enough that it just sorta seems par for the course. She's trying, okay? She's not 100% clear at this moment about what exactly she's trying, but she's trying.]

Yes, really! What, do you have something to add now?

[slapfight]

Wonderland is dumb. [Yes, that's what she has to add. She stomps her hoofs and circles, grumbling at the ceiling.] Stupid [hrgle grumble] inefficient, uninspired cloddy simulation.

[A simulation can't even be a clod, but it's her filler word and she's using it. Once she's done grumbling about that, she sighs and accepts her fate, clearing her throat and presenting herself as if it never happened.] It's nothing. Sometimes the stress of the situation is overwhelming. I'm better now.

[And still a horse.]

[ssmisery]

[Well, Lapis doesn't disagree with any of that. She huffs and plods over.]

Whatever. It's not like any of it matters if we can't even figure out what's wrong.

[It's not gonna stop bothering her. She knows something's up, she can't un-know it, and now everything feels off. But that's just Lapis's life, being bothered by things she can't get over. At least she has company.]

[slapfight]

I'm just going to reiterate that there are piles of sticks and equipment meant entirely for the purpose of protesting Wonderland being Wonderland in the garden.

['Morp always makes her feel better. And it distracts Lapis, and maybe the answer to Lapis's lapse in memory is down there. She clearly turned into a pony by venturing out into Wonderland. Maybe the key to reversing it is also there.]

[ssmisery]

Fine, I'll go see.

[A weird thing to agree to when she's not really in the mood, but Lapis too has the vague, not-very-hopeful thought that maybe doing something might somehow jog her memory. Still not very likely, but it can't be any less helpful than hanging around here.

...Though, having agreed, she finds herself faltering again immediately. Even a trivial thing like going outside comes with its own pointers towards the adorable pastel elephant in the room. Her first instinct is to think of flying them both over, but how would that work, exactly? Or if they go through the building, as Lapis doesn't often bother to, isn't there something off about that image too? She can't quite envision anything.

She furrows her horsey brow at the door, recalling now that Peridot was having trouble even opening it. This all seems like a bizarrely stupid dilemma to have.]

...How do we get there.

[slapfight]

We... walk.

[Which seems like such a simple answer. Duh. Of course they walk. Or Lapis flies down and if she's feeling generous enough to be a taxi and Peridot isn't attempting another hoverboard experiment with whatever metal thing is capable of supporting her weight, she carries her.

But Peridot made it up here and she also made it through the door, even if it meant using her metal powers to turn the doorknob... And that's harder than you'd like it is. It requires a certain finesse she doesn't have mastered yet. It's easy to lift things and throw them. It's harder to make them rotate when they're stuck in a fixed point.] Once I get the door open.

[And so she stares at the door. The door knob wiggles under the intensity of her electromagnetic field as she manipulates it to the right angle. The doorknob is confused, because this is not how things work, and if Peridot had blood vessels she'd be in danger of busting one with the amount of effort she's putting into this VERY SIMPLE TASK.

She gives up after five excruciating minutes and then tries to kick the door with her back legs with an exaggerated HI-YA!! sound. Unfortunately, even as a pony, she has the strength of a kitten. She doesn't even leave a scuff.]

[ssmisery]

[Lapis stares at this performance, at first blankly, but increasingly deep in thought. It's been hard to think properly about the earlier conversation, but she remembers letting Peridot in, and then...

Well, this is the hard way, but she was going to catch up one way or another, even with a dose of unnatural reluctance polluting her rockbrain. She is Lapis Lazuli, dangit, and if anyone can out-stubborn literal magic, it's her. She didn't hold her mind together through millennia in a mirror and months in Malachite just to let some stupid pony hypnosis tell her what she should and shouldn't think about now.

She lifts a hoof, angles it towards herself. It seems perfectly normal, but. But. The last time she made that sort of gesture, it definitely wasn't.]

Peridot. [The tone is eerily mild.] Was I a pony earlier?

[slapfight]

[Peridot rapidfire kicks the door while Lapis is still thinking this over, making increasingly more aggravated noises until she finally collapses into a tangle of pony limbs and just looks tragically dejected up at her roomie.]

No. First I came in here believing this was my intended form and then you convinced me through logic that I wasn't, and then you went to investigate further and came back as a pony, and forgot the entire conversation because you believed these were intended forms.

[She heaves an exaggerated sigh.] It's very confusing.