entrancelogs | oh, dinna fash, lad. i'll remember you } OPEN + CLOSED

When Jamie returns to Wonderland, it's with that same sense of disorientation as he'd felt upon first arriving, but he has the benefit of not being nearly mortally wounded this time. He's quick to find his family first, needing to see them above all else, to have them in his arms again, but after a day or two of settling back in, he takes time to reacquaint himself, to seek out people he'd only just begun to know.

One of his favorite places in the mansion is the library, so you're sure to find him there, taking his time exploring the many books on offer. It's akin to a bountiful harvest in his mind, filled with so many interesting stories to sink into. He recalls some books that had been recommended to him before and since he hadn't had a chance to read any of those yet, he finally makes his way towards the mystery books, collecting a few by Agatha Christie. He's always happy to speak with anyone, particularly if you have a book recommendation.

Sunburst is happy to see Jamie back, there's always a small worry when people leave that Wonderland is just toying with the rest of them. That that person might vanish and never come back. It would be cruel for Wonderland to split up the family, so soon after they've been reunited. Cruel, but not out of character. Luckily, the worry was unwarranted, and he's glad for it.

He's dimly aware that Claire might not have told Jamie about his... less than human nature- either because ti didn't come up, or just as likely, for her own amusement. But the library is his domain, and he can't dance around the network forever. So he wanders over offering a smile and keeping himself just out of grabbing distance. Just in case.

"Glad to see you've returned, little older too, right?" he thinks, it's really hard to tell with humans. "You finally come to check out those books?"

The only thing Claire had done to mildly prepare Jamie was to warn him that some of the inhabitants of Wonderland weren't human. He hadn't fully grasped what that meant, but she'd simply assured him he'd find out soon enough, and that had been that. So, he'd suspected his newfound friend Sunburst might perhaps be one of these "non-human" types, if only because of his unique name; but it had certainly never occurred to him what the actual truth might be.

As he reaches for a familiar title, he smiles before he even looks over, knowing exactly who it is. "Aye. A fine friend of mine thought I might-" And as he stands up and turns his head to finally see Sunburst, his words halt abruptly, eyes narrowing in confusion and disbelief.

"Is it - are you-" Jamie stops, taking a breath. He's shocked, but he prides himself on being a gentleman and he won't simply stare at him in disbelief. "All this time, I've been speaking wi' a horse." And then he shakes his head and laughs a bit. "I ask yer pardon, Sunburst, I wasna prepared for yer...appearance. Forgive my reaction."

He feels like he needs to say something else, at least. "Ye have a...a fine mane, lad."

Sunburst witnessed a lot of reactions to himself since he's been in Wonderland- ranging from barely batting an eyelid to utterly refusing to believe he existed at all. This is, by far, the most amusing. Or perhaps he's just getting a thicker skin about it all. He chuckles, amused.

"Pony, technically, though given the circumstances, I can understand the confusion."

He tilts his head up at his, admittedly, rats nest of a mane. Personal grooming have never been a high priority for him and as such he always looks like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards.

"Um...thank you? I...grew it myself?" he considers complimenting Jamie's hair, then decides better of it. "So, how was your trip home? Nothing untoward happened, I hope?"

Jamie's always had a knack with horses, and indeed, he'd spent much time with them as a means of earning his keep and place at Castle Leoch. When he'd been an indentured servant, he'd again been tasked with tending the horses, and he'd always found respite in being with them, outside where he could breathe in the fresh air under a beautiful sky, and where the duties at hand allowed him the chance to take his mind off the pain of losing Claire. Over time, when he'd had Willie to guide and teach, he'd been strangely appreciative of his time there. Servitude wasn't something anyone with half a mind would ever want, but he'd been granted a small gift in the form of having a child to look after and mentor, in a way, even if Willie could never know his true identity.

Here in Wonderland, he's more than happy to spend time in the stables when he's in want of fresh air and a bit of solitude or company. If you happen to be there as well, he'll always welcome a friendly face!

Naoki has only ridden a horse once in his life, and he's still not sure about them. Or, more accurately, he's still kind of afraid of them. Despite being as powerful as he is--he's pretty sure he could lift a horse if he had to--they still put him on edge.

But the best way to conquer fear is to face it, right? So he's made his way out to the stables. That seems tame enough. He doesn't have to ride one of the horses, after all. He can just...try to pet it. That shouldn't be too difficult.

He's a little dismayed to see someone else is already there when he arrives, and he pauses in the doorway, debating whether or not he should duck back out. After a couple seconds of waffling, he steps inside. He doesn't recognize Jamie, and hopes that the markings and the glowing and everything else won't startle him.

"Hey. I won't be in your way, will I?"

Jamie's spending some time just grooming the horses, speaking gently to one as he brushes it. When he notices someone joining him, he pauses what he's doing and looks up, smiling softly and shaking his head.

"I welcome the company. Have ye much experience with horses?"

"Almost none."

Naoki rubs at the back of his neck a bit sheepishly.

"I rode one once. Someone showed me how to...get it ready. Whatever you call that."

He nods to the horse he's been tending. "This is a fine horse. Good temperament. She may be willin' to let ye ride her."

But just for the moment at hand, she's enjoying being brushed and he doesn't want to interrupt that, so he holds out the brush. "Here, if ye'd like," Jamie offers it to the young man. "Brushing a horse is good for them and for you."

Naoki hesitates, then reaches and moves closer to take the brush. Being this close to a horse is still slightly nerve-wracking, but he starts to brush her, a little too gently.

"I guess that's true. I'm still getting used to them." He makes a face, his strokes with the brush gaining some confidence. "Not sure I ever will."

Julia has waited what she assumes is the appropriate amount of time before she goes hunting Jamie down. Claire let her know when he came back but she wanted to give him some time to settle in (and obviously, time to reconnect with his wife and daughter) before she spoke to him.

Luckily, Julia has a lot of experience with finding troublesome men on the mansion grounds, seeing how often she spends tracking down Barbie. It doesn't take long for her to make it to the stables, her nose wrinkling slightly as she side-steps a pile of something that could be either mud or horse manure - or maybe both. Chester's Mill might be a cozy farming community, but Julia is still a city girl through and through.

"Jamie?" When she finally finds him, she looks a little relieved, as if she wasn't completely convinced he was actually back. "Wow, uh, horses, huh?"

The moment he hears her voice, Jamie's head lifts from the horse he's grooming, and he smiles at her warmly. Setting the brush aside for now, he makes his way towards her, nodding at her to both acknowledge her presence and respond to her question.

For a moment, he rests a hand gently on her shoulder for just a moment before letting his hand fall to rest by his side. "I'm verra pleased to see ye, lass. Have ye a fondness for horses?"

"It's so good to see you, too. I'm glad you're back."

It's something she can say to Jamie. His family is here, and selfishly, Julia wants to keep them all here with her and Barbie. She feels like they are all safer here than they ever are in their perspectives worlds and times, which is saying a lot.

"I don't know much about them, actually." She glances at the horse he had been tending to. "There aren't a lot of horses in Chicago."

"It's a pleasure to be welcomed back, and to see ye."

It's a strange circumstance, truly, to be pleased to return to a place like this, but he is; it's not only that Claire's here, but he's made friends here, and most importantly, his daughter is here and it might well be his only chance to see her.

"I know not about...Chicago, but I can tell ye all ye might wish to know of horses. But tell me first - are you well?"

"Well, I can tell you anything you need to know about Chicago," she offers back with a smile. She glances at the horse, debating how much she would even want to know about them. It might not be so bad to get some basics, maybe.

"I'm well. More worried about you, honestly - is everything okay? Were you safe before you came back?"

[ While this device is still not his favorite thing and likely never will be, it remains a convenient way to speak to many people at once. It's a way for him to check in on others he's grown to know, and for them to find out that he's returned.

So when he starts to broadcast, there's a smile on his face and he's noticeably older now. ]

I wished to reach out and greet you all. I trust ye're well? Claire tells me I was gone but a week, though I confess it feels far longer for me. My memories are...longer and I've aged a wee bit. When I'd first come to Wonderland, I'd been pulled from a battlefield, certain I'd meet my fate at the hands of a Redcoat. And I as return to ye now, my life has taken me quite a distance, to the Colonies.

Have any of ye experienced such a shift in time and memories?

Over the course of those first few weeks in early December, Jamie will occasionally situate himself in the mansion's entrance hall, getting comfortable in a chair near some of the burning candles but with the perfect vantage point to be able to look up at the sky through the domed ceiling. It's so very strange that he can at all, given the floors above, but it's another quirk of magic to this place of course.

He has everything he needs in his lap to knit. Yes, knit. He's been quite skilled at it for many years, though he's not had much time to do so in a long while. His fingers are a bit stiffer than before, but even after the passage of time, he takes to it again with ease. The weather is growing colder, and he wants to ensure his wife and daughter are warm. He's also happy to knit for other people, so please feel free to stop and question him, and even make a request!

As Jessica steps into the entrance hall from outside, somewhat dressed for said cooler weather, she has to stop and do a double take. Is she seeing things? Is he knitting?

She's reeeally starting to wonder about Claire's family.

For the longest time, all she does is gawk at him. She's not even trying to be subtle about it. Because fuck, if someone ever tried to set anything like knitting needles in her father's hands, he'd probably end up using them as weapons.

Yeah, she can't help herself. She hasn't really been making a solid effort to get to know Jamie, but now? It's finally time.

Jessica steps up to him, letting a few giggles escape before they interfere with her ability to talk.

"So, uh," she says, blinking innocently, "you okay with doin' that?"

You know. Women's work.

His family is here; Christ, Brianna is here, and after decades of suffocating loneliness and a pain in his heart far worse than any torture he'd ever endured, he can't believe he has a respite in this strange place that allows him to actually see his child. They speak of her often, both he and Claire, as they settle into their new life in the Colonies, but there, Jamie can only think of Brianna through faith alone, and what he imagines she'd be like. He has to hope and trust that she'll be well, canty, and happy wherever she is. There are moments he can't breathe if he lets go of that belief for even a moment.

He finds Claire first, but afterwards, when they eventually make their way back to their room, his heart beats eagerly, desperate to look upon his child again.

Knocking at her door, he calls out softly, "Brianna?"

She's missed him, and that was a strange thing to realize. It wasn't the same as the crushing weight of Frank being gone, but a different sense of loss, knowing that the person who loved her before she was even much in her mother's belly, was suddenly gone. She wants to know him, and she didn't want to have to start all over again.

So, she's been reassured by her mother that he'll be back and remember her, and that has to be enough while she waits.

The knock doesn't surprise her but his voice does, and she opens the door, looking at him and immediately realizing he's older, he's her father now, truly, someone who's lived 20 years wondering about her. Without hesitation she wraps her arms around him, hugging him as she closes her eyes tightly. She doesn't even know what to say yet, she's just glad he's back.

It's safe to say that he'd missed her, too. From the moment he sent Claire back through the stones, he's ached for his child, and now here she is, before his very eyes. She's safe, hale, and the bonniest lass he's ever seen, along with her mother.

He doesn't hesitate to envelope her fully in his arms, and there are tears glistening in his eyes as he holds her so tightly.

"Ah, how I dreamed of you, Brianna. For twenty long years. To have ye in my arms is to know no greater gift."

"Don't forget, I'm coming to find you," she says as she rests her head on his shoulder. She's coming to find him, and it won't be a dream anymore. And of course he'll forget, as soon as he leaves her, but she has no problem with reminding him now.

When she pulls back there are tears in her own eyes, happy ones, and she's smiling up at him. "You didn't miss anything here. Other than mom obsessively cleaning everything over and over again. I think she might have missed you."

He can't help pressing a hand to the back of her head for a moment as her head rests to his shoulder. But when she pulls back, it's obvious there were tears glistening in his eyes as well, even as he smiles at her. To see the emotion so plain on her face takes his breath away for a moment.

But then he smiles softly, a hint of a smirk in his expression. "Perhaps I should go away more often." But then he softly adds, "I'll have a home built for you upon yer arrival, Brianna. We have beautiful land there in North Carolina." He's speaking like he expects - or hopes - that she'll stay with them always. And maybe that's a terrible idea, but it's all he's truly wanted.

She's going, and she knows it's a one-way trip. It doesn't have to be, but she knew. She asked Roger not to find her, not to come, because she knew where she wanted to be the second she made her decision.

"Definitely don't go away again. You and mom, she..." Bree goes to sit on her bed, but the invitation is there for him to come in. "She really does seem lost without you. I spent my time, well." She gestures to her room, finally decorated, put together.

Jamie steps inside, smiling as he takes in the sight of her room. It's certainly unlike anything he's seen before, but it looks comfortable nonetheless. "Do ye feel...comfortable here, in this space? Ye've made it cozy."

"It's comfortable, I like it," she says with a smile. "I know you and mama keep the rest of the rooms like...well. Like what you're used to. And I know I'll have to get used to it too, eventually, but for now...I'm going to keep my electricity while I can."

No offense but how could anyone choose not to live with overhead lights?

He leans in a little, as though he's whispering a secret, "I truly wish we had the benefit of indoor plumbing where we are. One of the best innovations ever made, I expect."

That actually makes her laugh, and when she does, her eyes slant a little, just like his.

"Clearly you live in the wrong decade. And now I do, too. I'm an engineer though, maybe I can work something out. Just for us. In the home you built in North Carolina."

Claire had told him once that she'd been haunted by the memory of him for the twenty years they'd been parted. That had been true enough for him as well, but the pain ran so deep that to say her memory haunted him isn't nearly enough to convey the magnitude and depth of his pain. He'd known, or been sure of it anyway, that she'd made it to Frank, that their bairn was born hale and happy. He couldn't have begun to fathom what Claire's life would actually look like with Frank, and he certainly hated pondering it even for a moment because he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else touching or kissing his wife.

But he had faith that she was well, that she was loved. He carried the memory of her everyday as a comfort, but it hurt to breathe when he thought of her as well. He may as well have been dead, but she would have wanted him to live, and that was what kept him going through the long, very dark days and nights that made up his ensuing years without her.

Then she'd returned, and it was the greatest gift he could have ever imagined. They'd had to figure out how to be together again, after so much time apart, but their love held true as it always had. It had changed, matured, but it was just as strong as ever. And now, he finally had the chance to make a home for his wife, his family, in a place that already had his heart. The future was uncertain, save for the surety of imminent war, but he couldn't be happier regardless.

He goes to sleep with his wife, in their makeshift dwelling near where he's building their home, and when he wakes, he finds himself on a familiar patch of grass. He's worried for a moment when Claire isn't safely draped across his chest, but as he stands and looks around, it's quickly clear to him that he's returned to Wonderland. He's in the gardens, a place he knows he's likely to find Claire if she's not in their room, her clinic, or elsewhere. By perfect timing, perhaps, he sees her at a distance, crouched over her herbs, and he has to simply watch her for a moment, his heart swelling with love at the sight of her. But his arms already ache to hold her again and he calls out to her.

"Sassenach!"

Edited 2018-12-01 23:42 (UTC)

She's been trying to occupy her day because if she stays in that room she might burst.

Claire has no idea if the timing is such that he'll return to the exact moment he left, but as the day wears on it seems that might be the case; he disappeared in the middle of the night and there still isn't any sign of him. Which means she's in for a very long night indeed, waiting up for him, so, for now, she tells Bree she's going to the gardens and tries to get some fresh air and remember how to breathe.

She's inspecting her basil plant when she hears his strong, sure voice call out to her. Standing upright, she can't quite make him out (damn nearsightedness, and she hasn't put aside that small part of her vanity yet to request glasses from the closet) but she can tell by his posture, he's older. When he was nearly thirty years her junior he was still her husband, but oh, not the same. Not the same husband who'd ached with twenty years of loss then fought for his marriage with her, or the same one who nearly drowned with her in the ocean. But this is Jamie now, aged, with her in every way.

"Jamie!"

Her basket is abandoned and she breaks out into a smile as she runs to him, holding her skirts and then, once she's close enough, throwing her arms around his neck and letting him catch her weight as she wraps around him, closing her eyes tightly. When she nuzzles her nose into the crook of his neck he smells of smoke and pine and everything familiar but she has to pull back, grasp his face and then kiss him as if it's been another twenty years gone. God, even a week without him was enough to make her heart feel less than whole again.

Edited 2018-12-01 23:59 (UTC)

"Claire," he breathes her own name against her lips as they kiss, and his arms engulf her so securely that he lifts her off her feet slightly before setting her back down again. He laughs in pure joy, and though for him, he hadn't been separated from her at all, he knows she's endured his absence here for a time.

"I'm verra happy indeed to see you. I canna fathom returning to this place wi'out ye here." Stroking her cheek now, he kisses her forehead. "Was I gone a long time?"

It felt like an eternity, being separated from him, but she strokes his cheeks, shaking her head. "No, no, only a week," she assures him, needing to kiss his lips again. Then, she pulls back to look at him, trying to see if he's more or less whole, if anything's happened to him.

"Twenty years for you," she breathes out, knowing. There's more white in his hair, and she slides her hand behind his neck, unable to find purchase in his curls because they're pulled back. "Or longer?" she asks him, searching his eyes.

He's hale and happy, with a light shining in his eyes. He's in love, with her, with their life, with everything they're building together. "Aye. A bit more than twenty now, but we've been together since you returned, Claire." If he recalls when he was here last, her memories stopped at them being shipwrecked and arriving in the Colonies.

"We've land now, in the colony of North Carolina." For a moment, he looks down, taking her hand which bears his ring still, and though he won't tell her of what happened, it's comforting to simply stroke his thumb over that silver band that was stolen from her. Then he tugs that hand to his lips, kissing that finger, then her palm before pressing her hand to his heart. "I'm building a home for you, Claire."

A home.

She looks at him and can't help the tears that blur her vision for a moment, so much so that she can't speak. They'd dreamed of home, and for a while, Lallybroch was going to be it. Full of bairns and joy and laughter.

It was never meant to be.

Then they tried, in Paris, but so many terrible things happened there, they lost their child there, that it could never be home again. She had a home in Boston with Frank and he'd had a home in Edinburgh at the brothel, but for both of them, it wasn't home. There were never any roots anywhere for them. So, when he says he's building them one, that they're in a place where their love can grow into something that's theirs forever, she can't help but want to cry. She didn't die, he didn't, and he's building them a home.

"Do you know, Jamie Fraser," she says when she can finally speak again, lacing their fingers together now but keeping their hands between their bodies. "That we could live in a stable with animals and it would be home as long as you were with me?"

She needs him to know, that her heart never needed a place. It just needed him.

His heart feels light at the thought that they have a place together, land and eventually a home just for them. After so long, they've finally built a life together, truly. The only thing missing was Brianna, but they clung to the happiness they had regardless.

When she speaks, he smiles knowingly because the words are familiar and comforting. Kissing her knuckles again, he nuzzles her cheek.

"Aye, Sassenach. And yer heart is my home."

She smiles at him so brightly and kisses his lips now, winding her arms around his neck. "God, I'm so glad you're back," she breathes out, kissing him again, then again. Then, she smiles softly as she nuzzles his cheek now in return.

"You still haven't shaved. You took my request to heart."

"Well, when ye kiss me as you do when I havena shaved, it's enough incentive to stray from the razor," he grins against her lips, kissing her again in return. He glances towards the mansion, then back to Claire. "Our daughter's here still?" He holds his breath, waiting for the answer, afraid that something may have changed in the short time he was away.

"She's still here," Claire says quickly to reassure him. "She's here, and she was maybe more upset than I was when she realized you were gone."

Not really, no one was more upset than Claire, but it was a significant amount. "She was afraid the two of you would have to start over again already."

"My wee lass," he breathes out, with so much tenderness and love in his voice, finally letting out the tense breath he'd been holding. "I've ached to have her in my arms for so long, Claire. And now, here, I'm granted that small mercy."

Edited 2018-12-02 04:41 (UTC)

Claire knows this is all he wants, to have his daughter, to be able to hold onto her, gaze upon her and know that she's his.

It isn't fair, it will never be fair, that Jamie has never held either of his daughters, at least at home. So here, at least, there's something.

"We have time, here," she says softly. "We have enough time." She finds his lips and kisses him tenderly, then again and again.

"Aye. That we do," he murmurs softly, nuzzling her cheek before kissing her again. Then he just runs his fingers through her hair so lovingly, breathing her in despite having just held her in his arms but an hour ago.

"Come, Sassenach," he murmurs, kissing both her hands. "We should return to our room. Our home, here."

"That's a good idea, Jamie Fraser," she murmurs. "Because I've missed you. Very much," she murmurs. "But I need my basket first," Claire says with a smile, nuzzling the side of his nose with her own.

"Aye. I'll fetch it," he offers, kissing just the tip of her nose tenderly before grabbing the basket for her. Then he offers her his arm, leading her back to the mansion.

"Before my mind is too preoccupied," he smiles over at her. "Fergus, Marsali, Ian. They survived the shipwreck, Claire. That was...the last ye'd remembered, aye?"

For a second, she feels like her knees might buckle. She'd thought they were lost to the sea, and hearing that they're safe is such a relief that she has to pause for a second, closing her eyes. At his question, she nods, but has one of her own.

"'Survived' but are they all right?"

"They're well," he smiles broadly. "More than well, Claire. We're to be grandparents," he breathes out, tugging her hand to his lips.

Whatever she was expecting to hear, it wasn't that, and her eyes widen, filling with new, bright, happy tears. "Marsali..."

She laughs in sheer joy at the idea, and once, maybe, it would have filled her with a twinge of aching, knowing she would never be there for Bree's first child. But Bree is coming to them, and everyone, all of them, will be together.

"Jamie, we're finally getting everything we always wanted," she whispers, voice breaking a little.

"All that we deserve, Sassenach," he smiles with so much joy at her, kissing her. He couldn't have possibly imagined that his life would be filled in such a way, even just a year ago. That Claire returned to him at all was the most incredible blessing, but that life - though not without its obstacles before them - also continued to give them so much was truly a miracle from the Almighty. Brianna coming back to them is the height of their joy, and though he'll always worry about his daughter being stuck in the past, out of place and time, he's so happy that their family will be together at last.

oh, dinna fash, lad. i'll remember you } OPEN + CLOSED

OTA - library

oh heck it's time

nothing could have truly prepared him

this is truly the greatest of responses

OTA - stables

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OTA - network

OTA - entrance hall

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CLOSED for Brianna

FINALLY I AM HERE

YESSSS

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CLOSED for Claire

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