She thought he wasn't interested--until he said he would have to sex-ray her entire body!

[itsahotone]

Who: Santana, and anyone else your little heart desires.
Where: Everywherrrrre, muhahaha!
When: ...Thursday, I guess. It can go on as long as you want, baby.
Rating: R/nc17 for language. Don't blame ME, blame the magazine.
Summary: Santana's bored, so she's leaving Cosmo magazines around for everyone to find. Check out the sex tips!
The Story:

Look, a girl needs to find her own entertainment around here.

Don't ask how she got the idea, but since it was a brilliant and amazing one, she's just gonna go with it.

Post-event is always boring, so she's just gonna liven it up! That's all. It's helpful.

So she spends some time getting a bunch of issues of Cosmopolitan from the closet, then she spends way more time than needed going through them. She highlights and circles and even draws some arrows to the best parts, things that say stuff like:

Try this kinky trick: Color your nipples with a crazy-colored lipstick, like sparkly purple. Bonus points if it's yummy. He'll love the shocking, sexy change in scenery!

"I dated this guy who tasted really funky down there, but I didn't want to confront him about it. So I told him I was going to suck on a strong mint while going downtown to give him a tingly sensation... which he loved."

Wrap a belt around each of his thighs. This will push more blood into his penis, making his erection feel even harder.

Give yourself goose bumps by sweeping a new, clean toothbrush over the curves of your neck and collarbone.

This featherlight touch will have you both tingling: While still kneeling between his legs, dab flavored lube on your nipples. Then cup one of your breasts in your hand, and slide the top of your nipple from the bottom of his testicles to the tip of his shaft, circling the head and then sliding it back down.

Look at him as you run your chin from his chest to his crotch.

Put lube on your nipples, then trace circles on his bare back.

Flutter your eyelashes against his boys for a sweet little tease.

Have him squeeze lube onto his penis, then swirl your body over his shaft to spread it.

Keep a glass of ice water on the bedstand, and once you've both climaxed, take a drink, holding and swirling the cool liquid in your mouth before swallowing. Then immediately envelop his balls with your lips, one at a time.

...And etc etc.

Once that's all done, she goes around the mansion, all floors, indoors and out, and places the magazines in random areas. Some are open, some aren't. It's like an easter egg hunt, only hopefully with a lot more confusion and chaos!


[if you wish to actually speak to Santana, just make it clear in your tags, otherwise she's not around once your darlings find this magical and 100% correct advice.]

Comments

[reckless_eagle]

[While Liet has his back turned to the bed, he tries to just... sneak out from under there before he can see, and pretend like nothing unusual just happened.]

H-Hey, Liet? What's... ummm.... what's up?

[Yes, Poland is SO skilled at the art of deception.]

[cautious_knight]

It's burning.

[Not that the temperature in the room demands a fire, but it really feels a lot better now.]

[reckless_eagle]

Oh. That's cool.

[Don't think about getting fucked, don't think about getting fucked, don't think about getting fucked...]

[cautious_knight]

Is...

[Sure, they were really embarrassing, but Poland's reaction still is a bit odd. Not that Poland's reactions aren't odd rather frequently, but this is a not a Poland-odd.]

Are you alright?

[reckless_eagle]

Y-Yeah, totally! Ahahaha, ohmigod, Liet, why wouldn't I be?

[cautious_knight]

[He won't point out the obvious.]

Do you want to go riding or swimming?

[A distraction would definitely be a good idea.]

[reckless_eagle]

Swimming.

[Cold water... Yes, swimming could help!]

[cautious_knight]

[Swimming also means being naked..

Lithuania quickly goes to fetch two towels and then heads for the door.]

Ocean or pool?

[reckless_eagle]

T-Totally doesn't matter...

[Yeah, he hasn't thought that far yet.]

[cautious_knight]

Ocean's further away, but we might have nice waves, and you can swim further.

[reckless_eagle]

Like... maybe the pool.

[Yes. Closer.]

[cautious_knight]

Alright.

[And he'll head out of the door and down there, anxiously checking if there are any more magazines lying around.]

[reckless_eagle]

[Poland sneaks out behind him, clutching his towel close and trying so hard not to think about sex.]

[It isn't working. Maybe because he's still a teenager, physically.]

[cautious_knight]

[Lithuania will start to get undressed as soon as they reach the pool.]

[reckless_eagle]

[Oh. Right. There is that problem!]

[cautious_knight]

[It won't take too long. As soon as he's folded his clothes he turns around to Poland, waiting for him to be ready.]

[reckless_eagle]

[Poland tries so hard not to look, but of course he does. And he tries so hard not to just blush his face right off, but it keeps creeping up, darker and darker, and finally he's just about hiding behind his towel.]

[cautious_knight]

Poland?

[reckless_eagle]

Y-Yeah?

[Smooth. He is just. The smoothest.]

The absolute smoothest.

[cautious_knight]

[He quickly comes over towards Poland.]

Are you alright?

It's almost too much, it shouldn't be allowed.

[reckless_eagle]

YesI'mfinepleasedon'ttouchmeohmigod!

[He flails a little, and actually does hide his face in his towel.]

[cautious_knight]

[he just stands there, one outstretched hand hovering in the air until it is dropped, looking a bit forlorn.]

What is it?

[reckless_eagle]

N-Nothing! I just--can you like turn around a minute? Please?

[cautious_knight]

Sure.

[He gives Poland a last critical look and then turns around, though he will listen very closely in case Poland collapses ro runs away or something else.]

[reckless_eagle]

[As soon as his back is turned, Poland strips down and takes a running leap into the cold, cold water. Safe!]

Ok, you can totally come in now!