open } i've been better with the things i've said when i took the lead instead of being led

[krmvgivv]

Who: Dipper Pines and anyone who likes lurking in caves like a creeper
Where: the caves
When: 4/4 shortly after the event
Rating: PG-13ish probably
Summary: Dipper has been here for a year. He is not taking it extremely well.
The Story:

When Dipper wakes up with his emotions back on, he has to shut his eyes and swallow hard to keep them all from overwhelming him. He doesn't want to cry. He doesn't want Mabel to see him cry because while he knows she'd understand, he doesn't want her to have to carry that weight.

It's been a year.

It had been so easy not to care. The event had been so well timed, he'd barely had a flicker of panic before he shut his emotions off entirely and suddenly it didn't matter so much. But now no matter how hard he tries, the emotions are still there, threatening to overwhelm him. A year. And he's no closer to solving the mysteries of Wonderland than he was when he started. A year and three months since he's seen his parents, whose names he can't even remember thanks to this place.

It takes him a moment, but once he has himself under control again he wipes his face on his pillow and sits up, muttering some excuse to Mabel as he walks out of the room. He makes his way to the caves as fast as he can. It's where he always goes to be alone with his thoughts, and right now... he really wants to be alone with his thoughts. He finds a rock and sits down, pulling out a notebook. He turns on his flashlight and flips to the first page.

July April 1, 2012(?)

I've found myself in a strange world that I don't think even the author's visited. Or if he has, he didn't write about it in his journal. That means it's up to me to record everything I see and chronicle the mysteries of this place! Everyone says we're stuck here forever, but also that people go home sometimes, so I'm not worrying too much.

From what I've gathered, this place is Wonderland, like in the book. It's a pocket dimension, and time works differently out in the real world, so it's unclear if anyone will even notice I'm gone. More summer vacation for me, right?

I have a lot more reading to do. Evelyn, the librarian, has so many notes! But, of course, I'll be transcribing some of my own in here. This place might be even weirder than Gravity Falls!

More summer vacation. Dipper even misses going to school now. He shuts the book and throws it against the wall of the cave, curling his arms around his legs and leaning his head on his knees. He was supposed to have found a way out by now. He was supposed to be nearing 14, not still stuck at 12. He wasn't supposed to have died twice and somehow befriended a psycho killer who might make it three times any day now. It wasn't supposed to be this hard.

"Get it together, Dipper," he mutters to himself, squeezing his eyes tightly. "You can't hide in here all day." And it's not all bad here! He's got all his family, and the mysteries of this place still fascinate him, and there are friends he'd never have met if he hadn't shown up here. Non-psycho killer friends.

Tomorrow, he knows all those things will matter and he'll be able to face live again. Keep on going. Keep on being totally capable of handling this. Like a mature teen, not some little kid. But he's been fighting it and fighting it and just for today, he can't keep control anymore.

Maybe he'll just stay here for a little longer.

Comments

[littledhampir]

"Things that smash are more fun, that's all I'm saying." She doesn't have to be a genius to realize he's in a mood about something and in Rose's experience? Nothing helps work out some of that like breaking stuff.

"If by cool you mean creepy, sure." It was like something out of a movie. Rose have expecting the walls to start closing in and then she'd be a shish-ka-dhampir.

[krmvgivv]

"I don't have things that smash with me." Except for one potion, but he's not wasting that on being angry. Not when he might need it if Chara gets him alone and decides to start something. "Of course it's creepy. That's half of what makes it cool."

[littledhampir]

She squints at Dipper, casually sizing him up, then after a moment a grin of approval stretches its way across her lips. If nothing else, at least she can appreciate anyone who comes across something that is potentially scary and thinks it's awesome instead.

"And what's the other half then? The fact that there's nobody around here for miles?" Rose... no. Not miles. Still, to her it felt like that.

[krmvgivv]

"That too. But also the rock formations are like nothing I've ever seen." The other part of what makes it cool is that Dipper is a giant NERD what did you expect. "Definitely not like anything on Earth."

[littledhampir]

And that of course is the part that has Rose's eyes glazing over, at least until she has an opportunity to make a quip. "Yeaaah... I wouldn't know. I don't spend a whole lot of time hanging out in dark, creepy, caves."

yet, sobs

[krmvgivv]

"You're in one now." He raises an eyebrow. "It's just interesting, noting all the ways this place is different from my world. From everyone's worlds."

[littledhampir]

"I consider this less hanging around and more... getting lost in one." Because apparently that makes a difference.

"Interesting...." Dipper, you're a confusing creature to the likes of Rose. "You ever think about letting loose for once? Cause between noting the differences and the research? It all sounds like you're in school."

[krmvgivv]

That just gets Dipper to scowl, wrapping his arms around his legs again. "I let loose plenty. Have you met my sister?" It doesn't really occur to him that she might not have met his sister. Everyone knows Mabel. "I just like doing this stuff. And someone's gotta figure out a way out of here."

[littledhampir]

"The scrapbooker?" He's not wrong on everyone knowing Mabel at least. "Not really sure what she has to do with letting loose, though."

Her head cocks to the side, Rose folding her arms over her chest. Considering him a moment. "And you think that's your job?" Sounding more like a challenge than a judgment.

[krmvgivv]

"...uh, yeah. She scrapbooks. She also mini-golfs, water balloons, knits, makes pillow forts, and throws things at me if I don't go outside enough."

Mabel has an insane amount of energy. Dipper knows her better than anyone and still doesn't understand it.

"Yeah, I guess." Maybe not job, but certainly calling. He has to try. He can never leave a mystery alone. "I'm good at this stuff."

[littledhampir]

And of all the really cool stuff that Dipper just said his sister did? She of course zeros in on; "She knits?!" Nose wrinkling. "I thought that was like... an old person thing." Which is the kind of opinion you form when you've lived a ridiculously sheltered life with the likes of the Moroi.

Nobody has ever accused Rose of being in touch with reality.

"I'm good at hitting people..." Rose leaning against the wall of the cave. "At least people let you do what you're good at here."

[krmvgivv]

"It's a Mabel thing. She makes a new sweater like, every day." Which is pretty insane, but Dipper sounds oddly proud. Just because he has no interest in wearing a Mabel sweater doesn't mean he doesn't find her skills impressive. "And events should give you plenty of chances to hit stuff."

[littledhampir]

Rose actually... looks somewhat impressed by that too. Okay caught between that and bewildered but still. She's having a good day when she can make her bed every day. Making a sweater from scratch?

"Why doesn't she just... get a ready made one out of the magical closets?" Because a lot of people aren't like you Rose, that's why.

"I'm pretty sure nobody would want me hoping for more events though."

[krmvgivv]

"She likes making them. Closets can do a lot, but they can't make a sweater handmade."

Dipper is fine with clothes from the closets, but then again, he hates washing clothes let alone making them.

"And you don't have to hope for them. They'll happen like twice a month whether you want them or not."

[littledhampir]

Just for that, Rose is going to try and ask the closet for a hand made sweater. Never mind that in doing so... she's completely missing the point but I don't know what you're really expecting from somebody like Rose.

"Are there usually things to fight when it happens?" For once, actually interested in what goes on around here.

[krmvgivv]

"Depends on the event. But a lot of the time. Wonderland doesn't often decide to give us a nice easy event."

[littledhampir]

"Like what?" Yeah you'd think by now she would have done some asking wouldn't you. "Ever seen any pale, creepy guys with red eyes, an aversion to sunlight and a love of blood?"

[krmvgivv]

"...do you mean vampires?" Dipper raises an eyebrow. "I know one, but he doesn't have red eyes, and he's not that creepy. I work for him!"

[littledhampir]

Rose raises her eyebrows, pushing back from the wall. "There's a Moroi here and you work for them?" Because clearly if there's a Vampire who doesn't have red eyes and hasn't tried to snack on Dipper, he must be Moroi.

"They're like, good Vampires. Still have the blood diet but they don't kill or take blood by force or anything."

[krmvgivv]

Dipper looks blank at the term, but he nods at her explanation. "Sure, I mean, he's never used that word, but he does all that stuff. He says it's because he has a soul now."

[littledhampir]

"What?!" Rose's face twisted with incredulity. "Yeah... either somebody is messing with you or this boss of yours is straight up weird." As if the soul is metaphorical.

[krmvgivv]

Dipper looks up at her and raises an eyebrow. "I mean, you do know the whole... other worlds thing, right? I can tell you for a fact zombies are different in different worlds. Safe bet the same goes for vampires."

[littledhampir]

The unfortunate thing about Rose is that she holds to some things as absolute truths and even when faced with overwhelming evidence to the contrary? She's stubborn enough to insist it's crap.

"But... Vampires are Vampires. You have the good kind and the not so good kind. The good ones are born and the bad ones will kill you without blinking an eye. There is no in between."

Except... that there is.

[krmvgivv]

And now Dipper's giving her a weird look. "I've never heard any vampire mythology where vampires are born. And I have a sister. I've heard way more than I ever wanted to hear about any vampires."

[littledhampir]

With a dramatic roll of your eyes. "That's because your sister probably reads crappy romance books made for people who don't know any different." Tone so dry. "F-Y-I. Real Vampires don't sparkle."