entrancelogs | + Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright!

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+ Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright! | OPEN +

Who: EVERYONE (if they want to live)
Where: EVERYWHERE (inside the mansion, knocking on doors)
When: 6/24 - 6/27
Rating: PG-13?
Summary: The Summerween Trickster has made his decree - Trick or treat...or die! This is a mingle log for Trick-or-Treating!
The Story:

On the morning of the 24th, everyone will find that the mansion was inexplicably decorated for Halloween...sort of. The idea behind the decorations is mostly the same, except that every jack-o-lantern is made out of a watermelon instead of a pumpkin. No, this is SUMMERWEEN.

For the first day it will be harmless enough, just a change in décor and a little spooky summer fun. However, by the second day there will be sightings of the Summerween Trickster, a creepy fellow made entirely out of unpopular loser candy, and he is not happy. In the entrance hall, there will be a giant jack-o-melon container with a counter and a count-down clock ticking away to the end of the event.

Your job, Wonderland, is to trick-or-treat for your lives. You have until the end of the event to deliver one million pieces of candy to the jack-o-melon before the end of the event, to appease the Summerween Trickster.

What was that? You'll just sit this out and wait for the event to end? I wouldn't do that if I were you. You see, the Summerween Trickster could be lurking around any corner. If he catches someone not fully embracing the spirit of Summerween (refusing to trick or treat, not wearing a costume, etc), they will not survive the experience. The Trickster will kill them and swallow them whole, making them part of his horrible loser candy body.

More details about trick or treating can be found here. This is a mingle post for trick-or-treating, if you'd rather use this than make a post! [Brackets] or prose are both welcome.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He's pretty sure he's actually never seen Chara laugh. At least not for real. They do that weird sort of fake trying-too-hard-to-be-creepy laugh and that light laugh of superiority, but actual real amused laughter? This might actually be the first time.

Oh. Oh man. And that's how he can spin this.

He shrugs, still making absolutely no effort to get up. The floor is comfy.

"guess i should. got you to finally laugh at one of my jokes, though."

And boy, that is a much better sort of triumph than any actual dunking. His grin is still way too wide for someone who just ate shit.

"oh yeah, one time i rolled halfway down a flight of stairs. but, you know, pinning it up, that sounds an awful lot like work. and i'm already working so hard, yanno?"

He spreads his arms like, look at me, I'm getting a skeleton of Summerween work done here on the floor.

They stop laughing. It's immediately officially not funny anymore. Get a load of this guy! Trying to play it off like it was his joke. Like he planned this all along. Like he was just playing along with them to get a reaction.

(Some quiet, ill at ease part of them has to stop and very seriously question if he did see it coming and just humoured them. If they're the one being played. If this is another trick, another moment meant to lull them into breathing easier before the font goes silent and they'd be dead where they stand.)

Maybe that's the reason he's got such an insufferable grin on. He's always got an insufferable grin on, though, hasn't he? Chara shrugs, delves into their candy sack. Delicately, holding it by the very end of the stem, they pull out an apple. One with an entire hacksaw, at least six safety pins, a few rusty hypodermic needles, and a couple razor blades very obviously embedded in it.

"I'm pretty sure the mansion meant this as a trick," they announce, setting it on the floor sort of vaguely near-ish Sans. Kind of pointless, since he'll have to move if he wants to actually get at this cartoonish Hell Apple, but that's part of the point. "But the safety pins should be useful if you ever decide to not be a wet sack of garbage. It's probably more work to keep falling down and getting up all the time, isn't it?"

And immediately the laughter is gone. Not unexpected, but Sans almost regrets it. Just had to be a smug ass about it, didn't he?

He decided not to add that he appreciates this sort of dunking more than the other kind. Better not to push too hard. Chara pulls out the weirdest apple Sans has ever seen. What the hell did that apple ever do to anyone to deserve such a fate? Maybe it's some kind of weird human threat. He peers up at Chara, wondering where the heck they're going with this.

Ah. Okay. The safety pins. Goodness, is this actual altruism from Chara? Sure, it's Chara-style, but they're still actually giving him something that could theoretically be helpful.

Wow. Even for how weird and backhanded it is, that's still kind of...amazing. Better not point that out, either.

"nah, falling down is easy. getting up is hard."

Shit. He sits up slowly and picks up the apple so he doesn't have look at Chara's expression because that was stupid. That was a stupid thing to say, even if he didn't mean it to sound so...

He starts carefully picking safety pins out of the Hell Apple, stifling a yawn.

"uh, but. heh, maybe you have a point."

Stupid. He gets stupid when he's this tired.

Ha ha. Falling down is easy, isn't it? A steady crumbling, a trickle like sand sliding down an hourglass. Hopes dashed, promises broken, reasons lost. Until one day, you lie down and refuse to ever get up again.

Until one day, you keep making stupid dashes at a hole, trying to overcome your body's instinct to live, until a root snags your foot and you rush face-first toward the end.

It's funny, the cute little in-jokes they have between them.

Chara leans back against the wall. Keeps their hands (and by extension, that wimpy plastic pitchfork) pinned behind them. Golly, hardly a threat at all, except for all the ways they still actively choose to remain a threat. Probably slightly more of a threat than if they didn't, actually. There's always a knife in their back pocket. This puts it even more in reach.

"I'm a little surprised you got up at all," they chirp. Not very nice, Chara. "A trick-or-treating marathon for the sake of a quota that seems downright impossible... it doesn't seem like the kind of thing that would coax you to try." Seems like a "death is inevitable" kind of scenario. Seems like a "trying won't actually change this" kind. Taking a death would be easier than looking over your shoulder, scrabbling for enough to satisfy the Trickster. Taking a death would put him at the same number as Papyrus. And yet, here he is. Trying.

For a second, he's not sure which thing they're talking about, and of course there's a double meaning there either way, which is fairly normal for Chara. But they continue and, okay, sure, the trick-or-treating thing. Okay. Good.

He pulls his cape around to his front so he can start half-assedly pinning the damn thing up.

"well, if i died cause i got eaten by a candy monster, i'd never be able to live it down."

Imagine having to explain that one to people.

"plus, i don't actually want to die." Being dead is one thing, albeit an extremely nebulous one. The process of dying is painful and totally sucks. Getting eaten is probably right up there with having your ribs split open.

And Papyrus would be upset. Sans could probably find a way to make sure Papyrus didn't find out, but that's not the sort of secret that you can guarantee keeping. Not that Sans has any delusions. He has 1 HP in a world that's about a thousand times more dangerous than the Underground, a world that's trying so hard to kill everyone that it actually lets you die five whole times before there are any real consequences.

Sans is a survivor, but this is just one of those inevitable things. Doesn't mean getting eaten by living candy has to it. That's just embarrassing.

...He doesn't want to die.

Of course he doesn't, right? That's... supposed to be obvious, isn't it? Nobody wants to die, ha ha. He wouldn't stay out of the way and do nothing in so many timelines if he was willing to risk his life for anything.

Why are they even surprised he doesn't want to die? What on earth made them assume...

Disregard. Another thought to erase. Cram away, because it has no reason to even exist. "Then you're in luck," they instead announce. "You ought to talk to Frisk. We've been generating quite a surplus, after all. I'm sure they've got enough to pick up any slack your weary bones might have."

They seem almost caught off guard. Is...is he that obvious? He's been a lot less careful about that sort of thing with Chara because they...well, they get it. It's just a lot more intense and...well, proactive with Chara. Sans knows he's just too lowkey to ever...

Except...

Shit. He needs to stop thinking about this.

He finishes pinning the stupid cape and climbs to his feet, though he can't hide the way his knees shake a little. It's been hours of nonstop trick-or-treating, which from an objective standpoint is a sort of ridiculous thing to consider, but it's exhausting. It's the longest Sans has gone without any sort of real break since the zombie event.

"well, it's a good thing i'm not too proud to beg kids for candy, i guess."

They watch for weakness. It's second nature. No matter how often you ACT, the choice to FIGHT is always sitting right next to it. Falling down is easy. Getting up isn't. It takes real effort. Tiring effort. Strain. Like hurling a blue SOUL around or doing some sparkly bullhonkey with one eye. Like teleporting...? Worse than teleporting? Who knows.

"The ends justify the means," Chara announces, singsong, even if that isn't true at all. The end can still be worth it, can still be a goal you decide on, but the means will always be what they are. "There's no shame in needing a little piggyback." There is. Backup, help, needing someone else... it just sabotages everything, right? Everything Chara ever tried to do, ruined by someone else's intervention.

They dig into their candy sack. Hold up a fistful of assorted sweets. "Are you too proud to beg me?" They venture, just to see what might happen.

"maybe this once." The ends very rarely justify the means, and they both know it. In most cases the two are actually completely separate.

Sans needs help in about 90% of the areas of his life and knows it. Maybe that's just another reason why he rigidly guards the other 10%. It's just a good thing that he's known his own limits for so long.

He stares at the handful of candy. Numberwise, it's not even a drop in the bucket.

"i mean, you remember the part where i have no dignity whatsoever, right? but i also wouldn't want to steal candy from a baby. guess it depends on what you want from me."

"I'm older than you are," they state flatly. Not sure if it count if they spent the vast majority of their unknown amount of years dead and in the ground, but they were still born before he was! They're no baby!

They unclench their fingers. Let candy trickle back into their bag like grains of sand into an hourglass. Fine, buddy. Had your chance!

Not like they even wanted anything from him in the first place. Did they? ...They probably did, huh? Ulterior motives are all they're really made of. They were fishing for a reaction, right? And they got one. He saw right through them, didn't he? Always does, doesn't he?

"Maybe I should be the one to take up stealing candy from babies. You couldn't even put up a fight if I mugged you for your Twixes."

He has to laugh at that. "pfft. not mentally, that's for sure."

So much for getting his hands on that candy, but oh well. He's pretty sure he can make the quota, between him and Papyrus. Or he could beg Frisk or Alphys for help. Alphys's costume is so on-point that she must be making bank.

"true. but you wouldn't really steal from such a weirdly pathetic baby, would you?"

"Haven't we established by now that I haven't got even the slightest hint of moral standards?" Chara answers.

Definitely not above stealing! They stole in the dustiest timeline, even if they had plenty of G from all the encounters they'd won. Couldn't claim it was like stuffing convenience store candy bars into your sweater because you'd been too bad to deserve to eat dinner and you didn't get allowance to actually buy things. They were just taking for no better reason than the fact they could.

Ha. Because you can, you have to.

"Maybe if you really try, I'll settle for a trade. Chocolate for whatever garbage candy you consider good."

"maybe. then again, we've both been wrong about you plenty of times."

Though let's face it, barely anything in the world would stop Chara from just outright stealing all of Sans's candy. He's just pushing their buttons at this point. Frankly, stealing is pretty low on Sans's list of horrible crimes, unless it's happening to him.

He stifles another yawn and digs a full-sized Snickers out of his bag.

"i dunno. i haven't tried most of this stuff. never was all that into candy. but i tried one earlier that was pretty good. laffy taffy, i think."

...Both wrong. Huh.

They decide not to think about that. After all: that's a full-size bar! He's busting out the good stuff. Chara raises their eyebrows, immediately goes digging around in their candy sack.

"You would like Laffy Taffy," they say, slowly picking out a hefty fistful of the stuff. "Alright, I'll trade, but only if you read the jokes on the wrappers out loud. I'm not getting cheated out of those."

He grins at the sight. "it's good stuff. though it's a lot harder to get crap out of your teeth with no tongue."

At least he would imagine as much. That's, like, one of the main purposes of tongues, right? Or something? Fortunately magic tends to do the trick.

"fair enough. these jokes are great." He takes a taffy and unwraps it, grin widening at the joke. "what did the bartender say to the horse? why the long face? heh. classic."

...No tongue. Ew, now they're thinking of the logistics of skeleton monsters. Can he even open his mouth, or are his teeth, like, permanently clenched? How does he talk without a tongue or lips? This feels like learning to speak Froggit all over again: how does a single "ribbit" translate into two complete sentences?

Rule one of the Underground, honestly: it's easier if you don't think too hard about it.

Chara snorts, lets themselves slide down the wall until they're sitting. "Wow, that's worse than your jokes." And that's saying something!

Protip, Chara, don't think too hard about skeleton logistics, you'll only hurt your brain. Even Sans doesn't give it much of a passing thought.

He takes a seat against the wall across from Chara. Falling Down is easy, but sitting down is easier and infinitely more pleasant. Plus it's easier to get up again afterward.

"how do you talk to a fish? you drop it a line. oh my god."

It's kind of amazing how his mood goes from 0-60 in no time flat when he's presented with terrible jokes. He's not even eating the candy, he's just reading the wrappers.

"what did the goose say to the cab driver? i'm honking here. oh man. that's hilarious ...what's a goose?"

"Picture the bird who carries you across a disproportionately small gap, but bigger. Longer neck. Replace the helpful propensity for transportation with seething, unfathomable malice."

Seriously. Those things are vicious.

They answer without really thinking. It was once a normal part of life, halting a conversation with Asriel every other sentence to explain something about the surface. They'd get bored of it sometimes, impatient. Make things up. Claim horseradish is the result you get when Aaron does the dirty with a Vegetoid.

(They had to explain what "does the dirty" is after that. Never again.)

Huh. No wonder they took so easily to playing narrator. They've pretty much been doing * Checks their whole life, haven't they?

"...Wait, you're laughing when you don't even get it? It's not hilarious if it's flying entirely over your head!"

"oh. that's mildly terrifying."

The Bird Who Carries You is such a nice and helpful guy, though. What a shame. Sans wonders if maybe he actually should start researching birds. He missed out on probably a lot of good bird puns the other day with Frisk.

"i'm laughing cause of the reference. that one movie scene, right?" He puts on a New York accent, which basically isn't much change at all. "'eyyy i'm walkin' here.' that one."

New York City was another thing on his old, old list of stuff to check out once he got to the Surface. The movies and pictures always made it look really cool. Plus hotdogs.

He unwraps another Laffy Taffy. "what do you get if you cross a stereo and a refrigerator? very cool music. pffft. that's a good one, gotta remember that one. paps would like it."

No he wouldn't.

"No he wouldn't," Chara says.

They don't even know what movie he's trying to talk about. Either it's some old-person thing that was before their time, or it's some trendy thing that came along after their death. Wow, it's fun having an extremely narrow window of pop culture knowledge. What a pair, right? Each not getting exactly one half of the joke.

"It's not even a clever punchline at all. What about all the sweet jams? The leftover tune-a casserole. The... the saran rap. Wasted potential."

He doesn't even dignify that with a response or a reaction.

Though it's partially because he's genuinely impressed with those puns.

"wow, you are milking these puns for all their worth, huh? careful you don't run out of juice, kid. but you're right. that one coulda been butter."

"Shame child labour is blatantly illegal. I could put whoever writes these jokes out of a job." They'll boast if they want to. Wordplay like that takes skill. Or... it takes something, anyway.

"Not that I'm fishing for more jokes, though," they point out. "The last thing I want to do is egg you on."

Not fishing, they say. He chuckles to himself and pulls out another Laffy Taffy.

"what's smarter than a talking bird? a spelling bee. pfft. yeah, i think maybe you could do better."

Man, he could do this all night, Trickster be damned.

"Okay, why is it that you don't know what a goose is, but have no trouble with bees?" Or, for that matter, memeing all over innocent children with bee-related movie scripts.

They're starting to suspect they're going to be dragging this encounter out. They're saving that full-size Snickers for later (it's gonna stay in their inventory for at least three weeks), but they let themselves sample one of the inferior, fun-size bars. Collector's tax, Trickster guy.

"I can get why so many monsters don't know what a human looks like, and I don't expect monsterkind to be a perfect hivemind, but the complete lack of rhyme and reason behind what does filter down to the Underground really bugs me sometimes."

"bugs come through the barrier all the time." He shrugs. "you think a bee or a moth is gonna care about a weird magic wall? not many birds, though. definitely not geese. even when they do fly through, they can usually find their way back out."

Or they, well. Die somewhere in the darkness. But that's a bit morbid.

He's quiet for a second, debating whether to actually eat all this Laffy Taffy he's been unwrapping. It's delicious, but taffy is literally one of the worst things to try and eat without a tongue. Magic can only go so far. Also Wonderland likes to play fast and loose with what counts as monster food around here. One time Sans ended up with gum stuck to a cervical vertebra and it was completely horrible.

"also it just kinda depends what ends up coming down the rivers. we get books and movies, all kinds of stuff like that. but information on the surface is kinda sparse. it all gets tied up in what people want to believe, and then you never know what's fact and what's fantasy. like..."

He trails off, chuckling.

"for awhile, i thought popato chisps just grew that way. then i saw an actual picture of the plant and now i know better. potato chips, i mean. that's another thing, we got all this misspelled bags years and years ago. manufacturing error, i guess? so for awhile everyone was calling them popato chisps. some people still do."

Old-fashioned types, mostly.

+ Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright! | OPEN +

get duunnnnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsnore

this is no time to be sleeping on the job THERES CANDY HERE

he will sleep ALWAYS AND FOREVER

neverending snore-y

sans reenacting the artax scene

its just sans, asleep, sinking into the swamp

but imagine papyrus in the role of atreyu now i made myself sad

ffffFFFRICK

STUPID SANS! YOU GOTTA MOVE OR YOU'LL DIE!

I'M IN PAIN WHY THIS

i love dying and being dead

mmmmm lov me some Suffering

dat quality suffering

organic, locally grown, seasonal

fair-trade only. no monsters were harmed in the making of this product

which, tbh, is new

we're all proud of u

just doin my part to reduce my carbon footprint

don't you mean charabon

i cant think of a pun and im furious

i'm so sorry for your loss

i have Failed

goodbye

goosebye

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