[OPEN MINGLE] Or perhaps in Slytherin

[fulllifeconsequences]

Who: Slytherin House! (And friends and visitors, of course!)
Where: Slytherin Common Room, Quidditch Pitch, various places around Hogwarts
When: Duration of the event
Rating: G (will edit as necessary)
Summary: Slytherin open log!
The Story:



The Slytherin common room was a long, low underground room with rough stone walls and ceiling, from which round, greenish lamps were hanging on chains. A fire was crackling under an elaborately carved mantelpiece ahead of them, and several Slytherins were silhouetted around it in carved chairs.

The common room has changed, somewhat, from its historical description, thanks to the decorative powers of one Mettaton. Though it still extends beneath the lake and thus retains a greenish, aquatic cast, it's much more brightly lit, its cold, damp atmosphere replaced with dazzling MTT-brand warmth. Even the giant squid, occasionally peering in as it does its rounds of the lake, seems just a shade more glamorous inside such a charming space.

Students - and a ghost or two - can be found nestled within its confines, plotting mischief around the fire, studiously doing their homework (as good students do), or perhaps trading Chocolate Frog trading cards. Though Slytherin is not especially well-known for its wide-open, trusting nature, Slytherins are known for not snitching on each other; if a guest or two were to creep in for a while, then odds are, nobody saw anything.

Comments

[determinedest]

They can get a broom closet. Or one of the secret passages! Or - or literally anything besides a spooky old maybe-haunted shack!

[Frisk is still giggling at the sheer absurdity of it. This can't be the first time that very theory has been posed, but it's still amusingly ridiculous to consider.]

I mean - wouldn't that put people off? Do people...do that? Do they like kissing in a house full of moldy walls and creepy paintings and stuff?

[fulllifeconsequences]

Crumbly shacks are gross, kissing is gross; seems like an obvious combination to me.

[Bulletproof logic, truly. Chara Dreemurr does it again!]

Besides, I'd rather have them confining their schmooping to someplace miles out of my hair. Can you imagine trying to get around when all the secret passages are positively clogged with face-sucking teens? Ghastly.

[determinedest]

[Truly, the greatest logician of our time. Frisk rolls their eyes, but their smirk doesn't fade.]

It just seems like such a big hassle to hike all the way over there. I mean, you've been to Madame Puddifoot's, right? [Two steps in and you've got couple after couple gazing dreamily into one another's eyes. Seems like if there's any place to suck face, it'd be there, right?]

[fulllifeconsequences]

Yes, unfortunately.

[They never knew so many frills and tchotchkes could exist in one space.]

No amount of tea, no matter how good, is worth that minefield of schmooping. I didn't even think it was possible to ruin a teashop until I went there!

[determinedest]

But Chara. Don't you ever just feel the urge to gaze beguiling up at someone whilst surrounded by heart-shaped confetti and little floating babies with wings?

[Frisk makes a show of propping their chin up on their hands, batting their eyelashes in an exaggerated fashion. Look at them, Chara. Just look at them! They're irresistible like this!]

[fulllifeconsequences]

[Delicately and primly, Chara tugs off their cloak, and hangs it off Frisk's head, burying them in drapey black cloth like a coathook. Cover that icky display up, Frisk, you're getting cooties everywhere.]

Absolutely not. I don't know what hell looks like, but I'm certain there's a circle of it that looks just like that.

[determinedest]

[Frisk snorts cheerfully, tugging the black cloak off and wrapping it up to toss it onto the table surface.]

Ah yes, the seven deadly sins. Greed, envy, gluttony, and...sickeningly saccharine romance.

[Lust, Frisk. The word is "lust".]

[fulllifeconsequences]

That's only four, Frisk. You're forgetting the others:

First, second, and third base.

[determinedest]

Chara!

[Frisk promptly hurls Chara's balled-up cloak back at them with an exceedingly loud, undignified sound. They're gonna get caught and thrown out at this rate, but Frisk doesn't care - they're warm and happy and full of butterbeer, and even if they do get reported, the worst they'll get is detention with Dad.

But a heartbeat later, Frisk doesn't even have room to talk as they add, sweetly:]

And what about home plate, huh?

[fulllifeconsequences]

Oh, that doesn't exist.

[They declare breezily, peeling their cloak off themselves and letting it rest in their lap. If they didn't draw any attention in robes, they surely won't draw undue attention without them, right? They're having fun and it's warm in here, so who cares!]

It's like the boogeyman. Just a story to scare and nauseate kids.

[determinedest]

It's a really good thing baseball isn't a thing here.

[As it is, they could insist as much to most of the other students here, and only the Muggleborns would be able to protest - assuming they're not in on the joke.]

I'm sure some umpire is rolling around in their grave right now. Or maybe more than one. I don't know. [They shrug, their grin wide and irreverent.] It's somewhere in that ballpark.

[fulllifeconsequences]

[Chara laugh-groans. The rare and elusive noise that all punsters strive for, truly.]

Really, Frisk? I hate to cry foul, but don't you think you're lowballing that estimate?

[determinedest]

You're right. Guess I'm just too bat at these. I'd sell me soul for better jokes, but what's the catch?

[Someone stop them, they'll be going back and forth like this for hours if left unchecked.]