entrancelogs | She thought he wasn't interested--until he said he would have to sex-ray her entire body!

Who: Santana, and anyone else your little heart desires.
Where: Everywherrrrre, muhahaha!
When: ...Thursday, I guess. It can go on as long as you want, baby.
Rating: R/nc17 for language. Don't blame ME, blame the magazine.
Summary: Santana's bored, so she's leaving Cosmo magazines around for everyone to find. Check out the sex tips!
The Story:

Look, a girl needs to find her own entertainment around here.

Don't ask how she got the idea, but since it was a brilliant and amazing one, she's just gonna go with it.

Post-event is always boring, so she's just gonna liven it up! That's all. It's helpful.

So she spends some time getting a bunch of issues of Cosmopolitan from the closet, then she spends way more time than needed going through them. She highlights and circles and even draws some arrows to the best parts, things that say stuff like:

Try this kinky trick: Color your nipples with a crazy-colored lipstick, like sparkly purple. Bonus points if it's yummy. He'll love the shocking, sexy change in scenery!

"I dated this guy who tasted really funky down there, but I didn't want to confront him about it. So I told him I was going to suck on a strong mint while going downtown to give him a tingly sensation... which he loved."

Wrap a belt around each of his thighs. This will push more blood into his penis, making his erection feel even harder.

Give yourself goose bumps by sweeping a new, clean toothbrush over the curves of your neck and collarbone.

This featherlight touch will have you both tingling: While still kneeling between his legs, dab flavored lube on your nipples. Then cup one of your breasts in your hand, and slide the top of your nipple from the bottom of his testicles to the tip of his shaft, circling the head and then sliding it back down.

Look at him as you run your chin from his chest to his crotch.

Put lube on your nipples, then trace circles on his bare back.

Flutter your eyelashes against his boys for a sweet little tease.

Have him squeeze lube onto his penis, then swirl your body over his shaft to spread it.

Keep a glass of ice water on the bedstand, and once you've both climaxed, take a drink, holding and swirling the cool liquid in your mouth before swallowing. Then immediately envelop his balls with your lips, one at a time.

...And etc etc.

Once that's all done, she goes around the mansion, all floors, indoors and out, and places the magazines in random areas. Some are open, some aren't. It's like an easter egg hunt, only hopefully with a lot more confusion and chaos!

[if you wish to actually speak to Santana, just make it clear in your tags, otherwise she's not around once your darlings find this magical and 100% correct advice.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Right, so just, like, count yourself lucky!

[Yeah, that one's definitely weird. But it's not like the other ones are a big secret? Like, oh my God, call the press, guys like having their dicks touched during sex!]

[...Is what he would say, mockingly, if he weren't still so embarrassed that he's hiding behind Liet from the magazine.]

[That does not help with getting somewhere to burn this... but he will stand there until Poland shifts into a position where Lithuania doesn't have to fear the blond falling on his face if he moves.

But that was a weird sentence.]

...Lucky?

T-That there like, weren't more!

...

M-magazines, right?

...Things on the list?

...I'm not sure what else they could have come up with.

[He's also trying very hard to keep his mind from following down that train of thought.]

[Poland's memory not-so-helpfully supplies some ideas!]

[He covers his mouth with his hands to keep them from somehow trying to get out on their own, blushing dark red, scandalizing himself at this point.]

M-maybe you should go back to the room and get a fire going, and I'll make sure that none of these lie around and then come back?

[Reducing the awkward by splitting up!]

Y-Yeah, ok!

[If be "get a fire going", you mean "hide... umm, where... hide under the bed!"]

...Poland?

[He's confused when he comes back - where is his partner? He'll drop the magazines into the fireplace and go over to the closet to get some straw and other things that will make them burn as quickly as possible. Priorities. He'll look for his partner after this is done.]

[While Liet has his back turned to the bed, he tries to just... sneak out from under there before he can see, and pretend like nothing unusual just happened.]

H-Hey, Liet? What's... ummm.... what's up?

[Yes, Poland is SO skilled at the art of deception.]

It's burning.

[Not that the temperature in the room demands a fire, but it really feels a lot better now.]

Oh. That's cool.

[Don't think about getting fucked, don't think about getting fucked, don't think about getting fucked...]

Is...

[Sure, they were really embarrassing, but Poland's reaction still is a bit odd. Not that Poland's reactions aren't odd rather frequently, but this is a not a Poland-odd.]

Are you alright?

Y-Yeah, totally! Ahahaha, ohmigod, Liet, why wouldn't I be?

[He won't point out the obvious.]

Do you want to go riding or swimming?

[A distraction would definitely be a good idea.]

Swimming.

[Cold water... Yes, swimming could help!]

[Swimming also means being naked..

Lithuania quickly goes to fetch two towels and then heads for the door.]

Ocean or pool?

T-Totally doesn't matter...

[Yeah, he hasn't thought that far yet.]

Ocean's further away, but we might have nice waves, and you can swim further.

Like... maybe the pool.

[Yes. Closer.]

Alright.

[And he'll head out of the door and down there, anxiously checking if there are any more magazines lying around.]

[Poland sneaks out behind him, clutching his towel close and trying so hard not to think about sex.]

[It isn't working. ~~Maybe because he's still a teenager, physically.~~]