[open] a little taste of hypocrisy and i'm left in the wake of my mistake

[persevere]

Who: Caroline Forbes + OTA + Closed Starters
Where: Everywhere
When: August + September
Rating: PG-13, anything higher will be marked
Summary: Caroline has a lot to make up for, but she'll do the best she can.
The Story:

Comments

[closed] caroline/chloe

[persevere]

[The list of people that Caroline knows in Wonderland that she didn't somehow victimize is a short one. Nearly everyone on it is a person that saw her at her worst, that was a direct reason for the guilt she carries, someone that she needs to make plenty up to.

Chloe isn't one of those people.

They aren't super close, yet, but plenty of the people she knows are, and she knows she can trust her. She might also be craving something like a mother these days, even unconsciously.

So when Caroline runs into the other blonde, she doesn't feel the usual hesitation she carries over talking to the other residents. Well, not as much, anyway. There's a chance that Klaus has told her things; he knows they're friends. Or Elena, for the same reasons.

At least Caroline never had the chance to hurt her.]

Oh, hey.

[thevulnerability]

[ Chloe has been regrettably out of touch since the last event, more than was even usual for her. Her room had been her safe haven for a while, and then things with Seth turning into what they did, and stuff with Lucifer being so weird... She almost feels like she hasn't had the time or energy to devote to her other friends in Wonderland.

Thankfully, for Caroline, that means she hasn't had the opportunity to catch up with Klaus or share notes with anyone else she might have gone after. Which also means Chloe seems absolutely delighted to see her in the hallway, maybe more so than usual, since, even in the wake of horrific death and resurrection... For the first time, Chloe actually feels kind of okay with being in Wonderland. ]

Hey Caroline.

[ She smiles almost apologetically, knowing that she hasn't really been around and after Caroline so kindly spilled her guts to Chloe the first time they met, Chloe feels... Oddly close to her. She knows part of it is her maternal instinct, the same thing she feels with Elena, that need to protect the two who were technically women but still close enough to girls for their troubles to break her heart. ]

How are you? It feels like it's been ages.

[persevere]

[It's for the best, really. She wasn't exactly very good company. Caroline's actually relieved she hasn't seen her in awhile, for both of their sakes.]

It kind of has been for me.

[She gives a sheepish half-smile, poking at the ground with the toe of her foot.]

Wonderland sent me home for awhile. I wasn't really myself when I came back.

[thevulnerability]

[ Chloe's jaw drops. She's heard of it happening, but she's yet to know anyone it has happened to. Which means everyone was right, that it is just a matter of being sent home and then back in no time at all. Half of her is eager to jump right in, to interrogate Caroline about every single thing that occurred. After all, this is the only way people can go home and not completely disappear, meaning that maybe it can shed light on how they've all been brought here in the first place.

The cop in Chloe wants to jump right into it. But the human in her sees Caroline's behavior and decides maybe, right now, being there for her friend is more important than asking questions. ]

God, Caroline. I had no idea.

[ Chloe reaches out, resting her hand on the younger woman's arm gently. ] Are you okay?

[persevere]

[She almost wishes that's exactly what she did, ask her questions, look for answers. But Chloe doesn't, and Caroline almost breaks down right then and there.

She's a master of control, though. She's learned what happens when it slips through her fingers. Never again.

She manages a smile, keeps her eyes from being too watery.]

Honestly? Things are kind of a mess. I'm pretty sure half the mansion hates me by now.

[closed] caroline/ryuji

[persevere]

[She has to do a little research to figure out where Ryuji lives, along with his friend who she also happened to victimize. She knows it's a little stalkerish and creepy, but she also realizes that he doesn't seem to live alone and that if he has back-up, maybe he won't immediately start screaming at the sight of her.

She also happens to have brought a huge fruit basket as a sort of ice breaker gift because he's probably going to be terrified of her.

But she has to make this right. She has to fix things as best she can or risk losing so much, including her dignity.

She breathes out heavily before she reaches out, knocking on the door.]

[nomorules]

<sub>[It's looking like it's set to be an unusual day from start to finish. Morgana had been AWOL that morning; the cat rarely missed a breakfast, but no amount of calling his name and threatening to eat his grilled fish brought him out of hiding, which was a little weird.

Ryuji's half-hoping (a teensy tiny half, like 1/4s of a half) the knock on the door is Haru or someone dropping by to visit with Morgana perched on their shoulder, back from getting into fuck know what trouble. Instead he's greeted by a... basket?]</sub>

Well, you're not here to bring our cat back home.

_{[And that's about the time he looks around the fruit basket and sees who's carrying it.]}

You!

_{[You you. Party girl. The "what big teeth you have" girl. "Dracula without the dick and cape" girl. Oh my god, no one told him he was getting a house call from the person who got bloodstains all over his favorite shirt. His blood. And when he doesn't even know how to use stain remover.]}

[persevere]

[She gives him the sheepish grin imaginable.]

Me.

[She feels even worse now; it's written all over her face, not to mention in the way she holds out the massive gift basket out to him.]

I basically owe you a massive apology and I would be a coward if I just dropped this off with a card or something and left so I'm just...trying to do the right thing here.

[She presses her lips together, appearing almost nervous.]

I promise I'm not going to hurt you, alright? I just wanted to talk. Not that you owe that to me or anything, because you definitely don't, but...

[She trails off because he has every right to slam the door in her face and not talk to her. At least she'll be able to remind herself that she tried.

Even if it doesn't really make her feel better.]

[nomorules]

<sub>[It's not fair--she really shouldn't be allowed to look, and smile, and talk so normally. He remembers her protruding veins and the bloody eyes like it were yesterday and sweeps her with a searching gaze, like he's mentally prodding her appearance to find where they're hiding underneath.

Caroline will get a sense he's focusing on her mouth to an unusual degree--at the place her fangs had sat. Those fangs that had been lodged in him at one point.

That sounds way, way more kinky than he'd like.

Ironically, now that he knows she's more than she seems and he can lump her in with the likes of a Succubus or a Lilim, what surprise and fear he still harbors are more manageable with a category to put her in; the blindfold's off his eyes, and seeing clearly puts him on steadier ground. If anything, he might just forever be a little bitter that the first girl to put her lips anywhere near him--barring his mom on embarrassing special occasions--is the gorgeous creature looking apologetically at him. And it'd been to kick the shit out of him and Akira. It's not fair at all.

A beat of suspicious silence passes. The-girl-who's-not-really-a-girl seems sincere enough now... but he'd been tricked into thinking she'd seemed sincere then and that hadn't ended well. He looks her over again.]</sub>

You seem less, y'know--grrr than before. _{[Miming the fangs.]} Big change. What happened?

<sub>[It's a concession, if a sullen one. No door-slamming just yet. Maybe it's to Ryuji's detriment that he's also no coward when it comes to face-to-face exchanges, preferring to face a fight rather than run from one. And it helps that the other not-girl, Elena, had shed some light on some of the vampire drama going on behind the scenes of Days of Our Wonderland Lives.

Enough that he accepts the basket (dang, she didn't skip on the goodies), brows drawn into a flat, bemused line.

Damn it. Life would be so much easier if he was a person who didn't get angry at all the wrong moments, and take his foot off the gas when he has a legitimate reason to be angry. But he's Ryuji, and Ryuji is contradictory, and right now he's willing to spare a moment.]</sub>

This is apology fruit...?

[persevere]

Um, the short version? I went home and things were really bad there, so I turned off everything that made me, well, me right before I came back so I didn't have to feel anything anymore. [Humanity switches are strange things.] But I have it all back now.

[The pain, the guilt, the relief. All of it, for better or worse.

She hands the basket over, her hands threading together in front of her as she rocks on her feet once.]

It's not an excuse and if you never want to see me again, I get it. I just wanted to say I was sorry. [Her grin is sheepish.] Yeah, I guess so? Or maybe a 'You don't have to run from me in terror' gift? 'I promise not to eat you' present?

[They're terrible jokes, but this is awkward and she's just trying to get through it.]

I don't usually do that, by the way. Feed on people, I mean.

[closed] caroline/damon

[persevere]

[Once the worst of the dust settles, Caroline wants to get into the swing of life again, as best she can. That means keeping busy and getting things done, and there was something she'd been planning on doing before her very unplanned trip home and the mess that followed.

So she's at Damon's bar just before it's supposed to open, walking up to find the Salvatore, her chin held high.]

So, you didn't fire me...did you?

[eyething]

( damon was with elena when caroline called her, and he could tell from elena's expression- it was over. he didn't expect it. maybe because before they did have to lock her up with stefan, and then have the two of them go at each other, have his brother give her memories of her mother until- until it reached her, but he was relieved for it anyway.

the longer she kept her emotions off? the more damage she'd do to herself, to others. the more she'd have to live with when the emotions flipped back on. he knows she nearly killed two boys before elena stopped her violently. maybe she'll be lucky enough to not have actually killed anyone in the mansion during her time with those emotions off like she does in her own world (he couldn't help but feel like he let her mother down in that sense. her last thoughts were of caroline, of wanting her to be okay, and she wasn't.)

he's checking the alcohol supplies on the other side of the bar when he turns and meets her gaze, shrugging his shoulder. )

I considered it more of an extended leave of absence, but you never filled out the official form, which is a pretty big violation. It's in the employee handbook.

( y'know, the employee handbook that doesn't exist. )

[persevere]

[She pushed Klaus too far and he knew exactly how to push back; by making her face herself.

So here she was, trying to make amends and move on with her life the only way she knew how.

Doing something about it.]

You'll have to get me a copy. In the meantime, what if I made up for my no-shows with a few extra shifts?

[Keeping busy works in her favor too. Less time to think.]

[eyething]

I'd have to write it first.

( damon makes a face, cause like hell is that going to happen. he leans against the bar, meeting her gaze then as if he's searching for... something. he gets it though. she needs this. having one's emotions back on after a period of having them flipped off? self-reflection is the last thing that anyone wants,

and he has been picking up a lot of the slack lately. )

You can have your extra shifts. Maybe you can even create an I'm sorry cocktail in case anyone comes in you want to apologize to.

( he spent so much of his life refusing to apologize. he'd made himself into what he was, made himself into a monster so he would never have to be weak again. he understands now it's actually freeing. to say the words. even if it's hard for him to do that still. )

[persevere]

I'm just...not gonna hold my breath then.

[Yeah, she didn't expect it to happen anyway. All the better for her.]

I'm sticking to doing most of that, you know, in person. Like a mature adult?

[She gives him a knowing look, though at least it's more teasing than actually serious. She's lived through some of Damon's growth back home, and there are the things he said at her mother's funeral.

And now she has those Wonderland memories too.]

I'm just apologizing to you in the form of those days off that I promised you and then flaked on due to unforeseen circumstances.

[closed] caroline/freya

[persevere]

[continued from here.

Caroline is wiping at the circles under her eyes with her fingers as she heads for the exit. Klaus said Freya was already here, he must have heard her arrive or knock or something, but she opens up the door, hoping she doesn't look too much like she'd almost had another good cry. Maybe she'll just think her cheeks are flushed from her shower.

Not likely, but a girl can hope.

She doesn't reach out through the doorway, knowing she'll just be meeting an invisible barrier, so she just looks to the eldest Mikaelson sibling, trying not to look as broken and tired as she feels.]

Thanks for coming so quickly...

[deathlessness]

[Freya had stepped out, not feeling that this scenario needed any more of an audience than was already present. But now that things have settled for now, she drops the barrier spell with a wave of her hand and steps aside so Caroline and her brother are free to leave.]

Of course. Hopefully everything's ... resolved?

[She won't insinuate that it's all for the best, because it doesn't really seem like anything is "best" about this situation. But at least she seems better than she was when Klaus brought her into the room.]

[persevere]

[She peers over her shoulder briefly, as if she's going to be able to see him through the walls, before she turns back to Freya, taking the single step over the threshold into the common living area.]

Something like that. [She glances down at the floor, tucking hair behind one ear.] I made a pretty big mess of things, didn't I?

[deathlessness]

[Freya gives a small shrug. No one died, which is likely a low bar, but it's an important bar, at any rate.]

People do desperate things when they're grieving. You are not the first and you would not be the last. Make your amends, and I'm sure you will be forgiven.

[persevere]

[Hope seems to brighten the back of her gaze, but she's also not sure she believes that.

She's sure going to try, though.]

You think so?

[closed] caroline > rocket

[persevere]

[There's another person on her little apology list, and if you'd asked her back home if she expected a robot/raccoon hybrid would be on that list, she would have laughed and checked to see if you were clinically insane or not.

But no. It's just Wonderland.

She has a heck of a time tracking him down, though. Maybe he's avoiding her; she wouldn't blame him, honestly. Finally, though, she randomly spots him in the lobby one day, and she runs over to him and calls out, hoping he doesn't just...blast her or run away or something.]

Hey! Can I talk to you?

[beatupgrass]

[Rocket's hackles are up- way up- when he notices her and they remain that even when he allows her to approach, giving him the impression of an angry cat looking for an excuse to bolt.

So maybe he takes things like what happened a little more personally than most. It's not something he can slap a "you weren't yourself" on and call it a day. He has no context, beyond maybe someone died and she was in a bad mood. Tough toenails, sister.]

What now?

[persevere]

[She winces.]

Alright. I deserve that.

[She looks a little like he punched her in the gun, though.]

I, uh, wanted to say thank you. You know, for trying to knock some sense into me. That whole thing was super messed up and you shouldn't have had to get involved.

[beatupgrass]

You're right. I shouldn't have. [Rocket is nothing if not completely blunt. He holds onto his anger for a few more terse seconds and then relaxes... slightly, anyway.] But I'm glad somebody got through to you. You were bein' a real maniac back there.

[persevere]

That whole mess was the beginning of the end, okay? Thank god.

[She sighs, nodding.]

Yeah, I know. It was stupid. I didn't exactly know I was gonna get dragged to Wonderland an emotionless freak, but it was dumb either way.