entrancelogs | + THIS is the Bad Place!

1. I don't belong here.

Eleanor's not a bad person. But since the moment she found herself apparently dead and in this place which for some reason refuses to call itself Heaven, she just...has been pretty sure something's off. Maybe it's all the clown paintings, or how the only restaurants are frozen yogurt shops. Or how her soulmate is a cop? Like. For real? Did this place pay any attention at all to the uniforms she's into?

Whatever. The point is, if this is supposed to be Heaven, it's clearly not her Heaven. Which means there's been some kinda mistake. So obviously she should leave before anyone realizes they forked up and sends her somewhere with even more clowns and yogurt.

Except, according to the futuristic floating screen, the only way to leave is via the train, and only Authorized Good Place Personnel can operate it. Thus, Eleanor spends her first day alternating between trying to brute force the train into motion by throwing levers and hoping for the best, and approaching various other residents of the neighborhood with a big ol' smile and an immediate question: "You wouldn't happen to be a former computer-genius-hacker-type would you?"

2. I'm a weirdo.

Eventually, though, she gives up and goes home. To Juliet. Who she sort of ditched unceremoniously after they first ran into each other in the house and introduced themselves. Admittedly, everyone's probably going to need a few seconds to deal with having forking died, but she still knows she's gonna have to explain why she disappeared like that. And, well. Maybe if she's honest, the good nice police officer will just help her out?

Right?

Ugh, maybe not. Eleanor hasn't gotten a read on Juliet yet, but if she got into Heaven and she's a cop, she's gotta have a crazy good moral compass. Which probably means not harboring fugitives. But...maybe they are really soulmates? And maybe Juliet will really want to help her? And maybe escape with her too because fork all these forking clowns for real, tho?

She's probably getting ahead of herself. When she finally comes back to her-- their house, she enters with what she hopes looks like an appropriately apologetic look. She doesn't have all that much practice, after all. She finds Juliet in the living area and she gives her a small, awkward wave.

"Uh. Hey. Sorry for disappearing like that. Kinda needed some time to deal with being dead and all. You know how it is." Duh. Obviously. Eleanor shakes her head dismissively. "Anyway, uh. How're...you? How's it, uh, going so far?"

Despite herself, she kind of actually is curious. She never considered having a soulmate, really, and is surprised at what she ended up with, but then again she's pretty sure she's seen some peeps carrying around inanimate objects that they're supposed to be mated with? So. Actually she might not be the one with the weirdest match. It doesn't hurt that Juliet's kind of a smokeshow in her own right.

Edited 2019-04-27 03:29 (UTC)

Our story ends the way countless other stories have ended since the Rising. An idiot--in this case Shaun Mason--going out and poking a zombie with a stick to see what happens. After all, there's always the chance it will be different this time, and in some respects, that's true! The idiot in question doesn't amplify when he's bitten by zombies, so he has that going for him, but immunity to zombie bites doesn't translate to immunity from fall damage.

He doesn't remember the fall.

He does remember waking up here in what is apparently--despite every action in the entirety of his life--"the good place." It's all been explained to him, including the existence of soulmates (his own is, inexplicably, a life sized plush moose), and the monitors have led him here. To his house.

If he hadn't been told that this is basically heaven, he would assume that he's in hell. The old fashioned hunting lodge is decorated exclusively in taxidermied animals and animal skins. Just being inside of it makes his skin crawl, even with the reassurances that of course nothing can amplify here. It's the good place. And the kicker comes when he's greeted by an very exuberant, very large golden retriever and told that it's his dog Phillip.

He hadn't realized his afterlife was going to be all about his desire to fork with his parents.

He explores the house as much as he can stand, and then leaves. If he's somehow made it here, George must be here too, so it's time to find out where. At least some good has to come of this, right?

The dog follows.

[Feel free to meet Shaun anywhere! Stop by for a neighborly visit while he explored his house, or meet him elsewhere in the neighborhood with his trusty dog while he looks for George. And lest you forget about the life sized moose, Shaun can't seem to shake it. It appears wherever he is. c:]

Well, it wasn't like death was an unexpected thing for Jean. He always knew it was going to happen; it's not something you could avoid forever in his line of work, and he felt he'd had more than his fair share of lucky breaks when it came to surviving atrocities. So he wasn't that upset about being here.

What he was upset about, was that no matter how he searched, there were no sign of past comrades that had fallen in battle before him. While Jean didn't think himself as a terrible person by any means, he did believe that some of his lost friends were more than deserving of a peaceful final rest. Yet they weren't here. And his happy end couldn't be perfectly so without them.

He spent so much time searching for them that he didn't spend any time in the house he'd been given, or had found out who his "soulmate" was supposed to be. Maybe a luxurious pad and a beautiful woman meant to be his companion for eternity would cheer him up a little.

The house was fine. A little too clean-lined and spartan for his tastes, but still better than anything he ever had back home. The only thing he could really complain about was, for some reason, This giant painting taking up a huge portion of the wall in his bedroom. It was supposed to be fine art, but it was totally without taste.

So he didn't stick around there for very long either. He started to wander the gardens, which again, were too manicured for him to really enjoy. The shops and stores were full of things he had no care for, and the eating establishments were all super high end molecular gastronomy that he didn't understand at all. He would kill for a good sandwich or a hearty stew right now... He couldn't even find a place where he could cook for himself.

As the day went by, he found himself more and more let down. There was nothing wrong here, but... There was nothing right either. Was this really where he was meant to spend eternity? It was far from his idea of the ideal afterlife...

[What a load of bullshirt]

Grendel never really expected that he'd ever die. He's continued on the plane of existence for nigh on two thousand years- a vast majority of that time being an irredeemable murder monster. Fables can die, of course- everything can die, even stories- but it takes a lot. He can't quite remember how it happened, but the screens are telling him he's dead and even more strangely, that he's in The Good Place. That's the part he doesn't buy. He's not a good person by any stretch of the imagination. Something is very wrong here. He stares at the screen, then reaches out to grab the first person passing him- congrats, that's you.

"Okay, what the fork is going on here? I don't understand any of this forking bullshirt that these for-" he pauses, mid rant, brow furrowing. "Forking. Fork? Forking?"

Okay now things are REALLY not working as they should. He stares again like maybe you have all the answers.

"What...what the fork happened why can't I forking swear? What sort of ashhole place is this if you can't even forking swear?"

[Nothing about this is right]

Okay. So Gren has established a few key things in his first day here: 1, He's dead. 2, He's somehow in Heaven/whatever they want to call this place which sounds like a giant forkup on their part. 3, He can't swear any more and 4, He knows literally no one here. Plenty of Fables have died- he's sure some of them would show up, and it would make sense if they died that they ended up in the same place, right? Where they understood one another. Here, he's just surrounded by dead mundies.

He can be found doing his goddamn best to get drunk from whatever wine bottle he managed to pull out of his weird, noisy house. He'll sit on a bench like the angriest hobo while everything else is glitterly and happy and smiley around him. Not that he's having much look getting drunk, mind you. It's like it's not working At All. He groans staring up at the perfect sky. If you're passing him by, he might glower in your direction.

"The fork do you think you're looking at forkface?"

I. Closed to Wirt

[Dipper definitely did not expect his Good Place home to be either so triangle or so see-through. Really, it's enough to make him question, well, a lot.

He's standing there giving the fireplace a suspicious look when he hears the door open. His soulmate. He was told he was getting one. He turns around and lets out a startled shriek.]

Giant gnome!!

II. Visiting Hours

[Okay, fine, Dipper's soulmate is not a giant gnome. he's just a boy with very weird taste in Halloween costume. So they have this fancy, woodsy glass house with the terrifyingly shaped oven and a well-stocked library that seems to only contain trigonometry books and books about the history of dubstep and also, Dipper's dead? He's just really not okay with this on a lot of levels.

But here he is. Trying to make the best of a weird situation. Maybe the Good Place just wants him to be able to feel good about his victory?? Even if he apparently died sometime on the bus ride home. It's... sure something.]

III. Later in the Event

[Dipper's out eating frozen yogurt and thinking about how much worse than ice cream it is when the thought strikes.]

Wait a minute. This is the Bad Place!

[A beat.]

No. No, wait that's stupid. This is Wonderland. Ugh.

[He tosses his unsatisfying frozen yogurt in the trash. Time for everyone to call him a paranoid freak for being right. Again.]

Edited 2019-04-28 03:19 (UTC)

1. Don't fear the reaper.

Soos is kinda surprised he died, but kinda not. He works with a lot of old electrical wiring, after all. But at least he went to live with the angels? Sort of? He thinks?

Man, if he's being honest, this isn't what Abuelita told him about at all. His house is nice, but like he didn't think houses were going to be a thing? And there's like, so many drawings of bulldogs on the walls. Normally Soos is pretty pro-dog, but there's just something about bulldogs that rubs him the wrong way, and like. Shouldn't he really really like his house, if this is heaven?

He doesn't even particularly like this frozen yogurt he's just got. It's...okay. It tastes like getting a high score on a video game, which he's definitely impressed by. But like...it could have been ice cream. Except it couldn't, because this place doesn't have any ice cream stores!

Soos groans, tossing his almost totally uneaten cup of froyo in the nearest trash bin-- narrowly missing hitting another resident on the way.

"Whoa, uh sorry dude. Didn't see you there. Kinda...having a bad day."

Are you...supposed to have bad days in heaven?

2. Baby I'm your man.

Definitely didn't think soulmates were real. But now that they are, he's really disappointed Melody apparently isn't his. Not that he'd want her to die just to be here with him! But. They got along really well. And George...seems nice but.

Well, they haven't talked much.

Mostly, since they introduced themselves, Soos has sort of just sat on the couch, staring over at George every few minutes and wondering if he should...do something? Like, boyfriendly? Soulmately? But he has no idea what that would look like. And George looks kinda busy. So. He'll just...wait. He guesses.

And stare.

OBJECTIVELY GOOD BUT STILL MEDIOCORE

Chloe knows she shouldn't complain. In a way, she figures she lucked out - everything Lucifer said was true, more or less, even if his own versions of ~~Heaven~~ the Good Place and ~~Hell~~ the Bad Place didn't seem to entirely line up, she made the cut and ended up in the Good Place. Is she a little prideful about this?

Maybe.

Is she disappointed she's not in the same neighborhood as her dad?

Definitely.

Still, she's making the best of it, even if adjusting to being dead and far away from Trixie for the rest of eternity is incredibly difficult. She misses her friends and Marcus, too, but she hides her grief behind a smile, the same way she hides her disappointment the first few days by carting around a really unexpected soulmate.

At some point in the afternoon she ends up on the bridge, staring down at the water, aforementioned soulmate on the ground next to her feet. "I know I should be thankful, but I really wasn't ready for this. But, who is, right? My dad wasn't." She sighs, looking down at the DVD set near her feet. "Not much of a conversationist, are you?"

FROZEN YOGURT SHOP ON EVERY BLOCK

Somehow, the line is always long to get frozen yogurt, even with all of the various options that have been presented to them. Chloe likes this frozen yogurt place especially - the layout is nice, and the umbrellas outside are a shade of blue she is particularly fond of, and wow she is definitely fixating on really bizarre things now that there is nothing of actual importance to complain about.

Well, not much to complain about, at any rate.

Once she hits the counter, she's pretty sure she's narrowed it down. "Sleeping in on a Rainy Sunday. Wait, no," she pauses, glancing at the list again. "The Sound of the Ocean. Yeah, that one."

Death had really never been far from Luke's mind; for much of his life, he'd actually courted it. On his darkest days, in a gallows humor sort of way, he'd joke with himself about whether Death would at least buy him - an addict (recovering) - a drink first before ushering him off into the great unknown.

When he'd gotten clean, though, he really hoped he'd be able to live out at least another few decades, maybe. It felt like after everything he'd been through, everything his family had been through, that dying prematurely would be a slap in the face for all of them, but especially Nell, who had fought so hard for him to live.

He knows he's dead, obviously, but he can't remember how, or why. There was a hope that in the end, at least, he'd be reunited with his twin. He hadn't thought much about Heaven, figuring he'd end up in Hell, but this place couldn't really be Heaven without Nell. So, right from the start, it all felt wrong. Everything here is...good, it's almost nauseatingly perfect in a way that's unsettling. By all rights, he's exactly where they say he is, but something just feels off and he can't put his finger on it.

He's staying in a clean house with bland white walls and weird paintings of fruit. Not his idea of Heaven, either. His soulmate seems nice enough, but he thinks he's kind of bad at this whole thing. Can anyone blame him, though? He's just found out he's dead, and he's stuck in a place he would have never chosen to live in real life.

Dead. Huh. There's a lot of things that Wendy thought death would be like, but this? This isn't it. Not to mention the last thing she remembers is something about zombies, and refusing to sing, and then she is here. In a house with the weirdest mishmash of chrome and glass and everything looks like it comes out of some weird future, and it's her perfect home? Yeah, she's not sure she's buying that. Except for one thing.

The wonderful, beautiful, definitely perfect boombox with tape deck and thunder bass and playing the best song ever. Or so this Good Place apparently thinks Sadly it apparently has a one track mind that is determined to devour Wendy's soul.

And it seems that no matter where Wendy goes, it's there. Waiting for her. Serenading her. Always. With the sweet, soothing sounds of Straight Blanchin'. Always. Constantly.

Isn't it sweet and romantic?

Edited 2019-04-29 17:53 (UTC)

[ Surely anyone spending time in this objectively but still mediocre neighbourhood will find themselves in the park at one point or another. As does Ange, since she was planning on quietly reading a book there without being bothered. Unfortunately the biggest bother here making this experience painfully mediocre is her assigned soulmate.

And said soulmate is about to make your experience more painfully mediocre too. If anyone is trying to relax in the park, just trying to peacefully sit on a bench or lie down in the grass.. They will quickly find themselves met by a cat trying to squarely sit on top of their lap or - if they're lying down - their chest, proceeding to shove its butt nearly into your face while it's trying to make itself comfortable.

Also, yes, the cat is wearing a witch hat. Terribly spooky.

A moment after the cat has claimed you as its new seat, Ange will follow, running over to you and giving the cat an incredibly exasperated look. ]

Oh, don't-- Too late.

[ Now she's just standing next to you looking defeated. ]

Hey, are we legally responsible for our soulmates? Because if not, you can just take care of that cat instead. Enjoy.

[Among the inhabitants of the Good Place, there is one small boy. Steven Quartz Universe cannot remember how he died, and he has been spared from any details about it. He's fine with that, as he's coping with things by just focusing on his life after life here in the Good Place. At least he's ended up in a Good Place! Although... his soultmate is a bit different than his expectations. He imagined something or someone a bit less prickly!

Steven starts his day departing from his house, a small one that is located in an obscure and easily-missed part of the neighborhood. He was told that this reflected his wishes to have his own room and to not have others constantly bothering him.

He can be found wandering around the neighborhood, tugging along a red wagon in which his cactus soultmate is sitting, while there's also a number of thorns sticking out of his clothes. He can also be seen settling down in one of the eateries along with his cactus; he could have easily arranged a double date with another pair of soulmates! And he can also be seen reluctantly preparing to eat some square pizza...]

[Closed to Nageki]

[There has been a lot to take in today. She died, she apparently made it to the Good Place, take that various law enforcement she's met throughout her life, she gets a soulmate and that's actually...the biggest adjustment today.]

...okay don't take this the wrong way, but you're not what I expected. But that feeling's probably mutual, right?

[She's pretty sure on that one, but they'll make this work...probably?]

[Open]

[Okay, soulmate adjusting aside, she can deal with this. Then again, she has to, it's the afterlife, right? She's here for an eternity so there's plenty of time to adjust to things like her soulmate being a talking pigeon or the lack of ice cream or a number of other little things that kind of nag her (like not being able to curse, what the fork is with that?).

But she's trying to get by, and can be found reading one of her soulmate's weird celebrity bird magazines (she has so many questions about that) at one of the many frozen yogurt shops.]

This is completely forking ridiculous.

[Still, Good Place! That's good, right? It's just kind of...well, things could be better.]

A. HOUSE VISIT

[There is absolutely no way this is right. Stan cannot conceive of any possible combination of things he's done in his life that would land him in the Good Place. The small amount of good he's done could be worth one hundred times the bad things and it still wouldn't be enough.

But. He's also never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth either.

So he's not gonna exactly correct anyone. He'll gladly take this big house with its wood paneling and pictures of hot women on hot cars, and sailboats in glass bottles and oversized sword fish on the walls and keep his mouth shot. If he gets to live out eternity in a classy robe like some rich jerk and he wasn't supposed to? That's someone else's problem, not his. It even has a room entirely full of sad clown paintings, which is surprisingly not a thing of torture for him. No, he just unironically likes sad clown paintings. He goes in there to reflect on things, and be marveled by the beauty of art.

It's perfect! ...Except for that it's huge. And no one else is there. But that's nothing new, right? He's fine!

Plus, it isn't completely empty. He's got his soulmate, but Stan isn't exactly thrilled about it. He and this animatronic badger have...a history]

B. OUT AND ABOUT

[Ultimately, Stan tries to make the best of his soulmate situation. They've got to be soulmates for a reason, right? This is the afterlife so there's probably some destiny bullshirt or something, right? That sounds like it probably makes sense!

So now and then Stan tries getting them out of the house (but stays in his comfy robe and slippers, because he's dead and who cares? He's staying as cozy as possible) and out into the Neighborhood! They can definitely be overheard fighting at one of the many frozen yogurt shops.]

NOW GIVE ME YOUR MON-AAAAAAY!

Will E. I've already told you, I don't have money here! No one does! It's a moneyless wasteland that doesn't know what the fork ice cream is! I've got nothing to give you! Can't you just be happy with what we've got? With what I can give you?

WHO WANTS TO GET B-B-B-BADGERED?

Hey! I don't appreciate your tone! I never should've given you a chance, y'know that? Old Goldie never would've treated me like this! [Stan actually starts to tear up a little and it's difficult to gauge if this is sincere or some elaborate performance on his part.] He would've treated me like I mattered! And you! You can't even take your stupid sunglasses off and look me in the eye when I'm talkin' to you!

[Will E. Badger doesn't seem to know what to say to that (since he definitely cannot do that), and there's a long beat of silence between them. Then, at exactly the same volume and intensity:]

WHO WANTS TO GET B-B-B-BADGERED?

[Stan sniffles, seemingly comforted by this.] Yeah...Yeah, alright. There's gotta be a half decent bar around here somewhere, right?

C. UH-OH

[Stan's looking a little bit nervous in the Neighborhood on the last day of this event, but you! You look trustworthy, so he's gonna slide over and chat you up. He's looking for some opinions!]

Heeeey pal! Buddy! Quick question about this whole Good Place/Bad Place thing. Say you do something here...we'll call "bad". [With air quotes and all.] Are there actual cops here? Or do you think that whole tallying points up thing stops once you actually get here and nothing bad you do counts anymore?

Asking for a friend. ...A friend who definitely did not push their soulmate down a very tall flight of stairs.

Edited 2019-04-30 02:21 (UTC)

Death had taken him quietly and gracefully, inasmuch as death can be either of those things. And of course, his memory of certain events leading up to his own demise is speculative at best, but he'll assume it was the death he'd always wanted: parting with his last breath as a torrent of rain fell upon him, and Scotland's old and steady mountains called his soul home.

When he'd pondered what eternal rest might have looked like, this certainly wasn't it, of course. Very little in this place is even familiar to him, and none of it very comforting or comfortable.

His only saving grace comes from being matched with a kind woman, whose eyes harbor glimpses of her tender soul if you look long enough.

"Do ye recall much of yer life before this?" He asks her quietly, the day after their arrival here.

A. Hello, Soulmate!

[This is all very overwhelming for Tohru. She doesn't remember passing away, but it's such a sad thought that she can hardly bear it. However, she's been trying to stay positive even though...none of this is really what she imagined death to be like. She still can't believe that there's a soulmate for her! And that they're also here in the Good Place waiting.

It takes her a little bit to find the right home, but she's absolutely buzzing with excitement, wondering what kind of person her soulmate is. She can't even imagine it, especially since she tries to get along with everyone as best as she can. What sort of person would be best? And is she really the best kind of person for someone else?

Eventually she does find the place though, and knocks on the door. When it opens, she smiles and bows deeply in greeting.]

Hello! Are you Lapis Lazuli? It's very nice to meet you! My name is Tohru Honda and I'm, well...I'm your soulmate!

[She's all smiles, pleasant as she can possibly be.]

B. Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

[Everything feels like a mess. It seems like her soulmate doesn't actually like her very much, but on top of that she feels a lot lonelier than she would have ever imagined feeling. She hopes her mother didn't feel like this...but, that's another problem too.

Tohru tries to spend a lot of time in the Neighborhood, greeting people and meeting everyone she possibly can. It's a big place and there are a lot of people, but...not everyone in the world who's ever died. Still, she can't give up!]

Um, excuse me - I was wondering if you've met a woman named Kyoko here?

C. In and around the Dreamhouse

[By the third or fourth day, Tohru is restless. She has absolutely no idea how to relax in a place where she not only doesn't need to work, but can't really work due to the fact that everything is supplied to them. Restaurants serve them without any cooks and there's no need to hire someone to clean, and it leaves her with no ability to get her mind off of everything she's been thinking.

So she cooks. She cooks, and she cleans, and she starts a couple of small craft projects and cleans them up again and cooks some more food. She does everything in her power to make sure she's never doing nothing - and she does it all with a cheerful smile on her face.

Even though there's no need for it, she can easily be spotted outside of her new home hanging laundry to dry in the sun. There shouldn't even be very much laundry yet, but the truth is that she's been using the ability to ask the Neighborhood for anything to get more laundry to do.

Anything, anything to keep herself busy.]

For Carol

Honestly, Pike couldn't remember how the heck he died. All he knows is, he pushed a button and here he was, and he just knew this was it. He was dead but he did manage to make it to The Good Place. All things considered, it could be worse. His eternal resting place resembled his ranch back in Mojave and if he listened close enough he could even hear his horses in the barn.

The weird part, all of the spiders. It looked like whoever was here before him really liked spiders. First off, that was insane, and secondly he now had to live with an exotic spider collection in his house. That was less than ideal.

The thing he was looking forward to less than the spiders was meeting whoever his soulmate happened to be.

OTA--later
Frozen yogurt wasn't that bad, but Pike suspected something was up. Ice Cream, the far superior desert exists where he's from and where he was before this. Louis was the first to tell him about events, and he assumes that's exactly what this is.

Looking Around

One of the first things Nageki wants to do is find his siblings. There's one that he doesn't expect to see, but the rest should have arrived years before him. Strangely, no matter how much he searches he can't find another bird, much less his siblings. But humans have been sentient for so much longer than birds. It might just be harder to find evolved birds because of that.

"Excuse me," Nageki addresses anyone nearby. "Have you seen any birds like me?"

Later
The little oddities have piled up and other memories are starting to make an appearance. He's not going to try to convince people that this place is false when it's going to disappear in a few days. Right now, he just wants to find items that remind him of where they truly are to make sure he has all of his memories back.

Edited 2019-05-02 11:11 (UTC)

Eleanor | OTA + closed to Juliet

Shaun Mason | OTA

jean ota

Gren OTA

Dipper Pines | ota

Soos | OTA + closed to George